The Drug In Me (Ronnie Radke Love Story)

READ THE SEPARATE BOOK

When I woke up, there was another chair pulled up against my bed, dark hair flopped on my bed, a tattooed arm stretched out and clutching my hand.

Ronnie.

I smiled and yawned, stretching a bit before slumping back and smiling at Ronnie sleeping. I squeezed his hands and looked around to see the others on their phones, listening to music, and talking on the phone.

Max met my eyes and smiled, sliding back over to my bed. He patted Ronnie, and then he pulled up the box. Seriously, what was in it?

Ronnie stirred and sat up, yawning and looking at me with a smile. "Hey" he said in a deep, raspy voice. I wanted to faint when I heard it. I nodded to him, and then Max dropped the box on the bed.

Ronnie and I turned to look at it curiously, and Max smiled and opened it to reveal packets and packets of gushers.

"128 packets" Max said, grinning and sitting back with his hands behind his
head. I laughed, shaking my head and grinning. Of course Max had bought 128 packets of gushers for Ronnie.

It was so nice of him. He knew that Ronnie loved fruit snacks, especially gushers. I wanted a friendship like Ronnie and Max's, they were so close and it just made me feel all warm and happy.

Ronnie grinned like a little boy on Christmas and quickly opened a packet, tossing the gushers into his mouth. He grinned and ate more, closing his eyes and licking his lips. He looked adorable and sexy all at the same time.

I smiled and watched him eat them, took him all in. His chest peeked through the top of the hospital gown, looking a bit bluish and purple. His temple was red, and his nose had a slight gash that was nearly healed, just barely visible. His eyes were dark with bags, probably from being in the coma. He had lost weight, but he was still muscly and gorgeous. He was so gorgeous..but beat up and hurt.

Imagine how he must have looked when he first came in! Most of his wounds probably healed when he was in the coma. I-I still can't believe I did that to him.

I started crying, covering my face with my hands and shaking, screaming. He came into my head just as I knew He would eventually. I didn't want to think of it, no, no I couldn't let Him ruin my life even after I escaped. He's made my life hell since He fucking came into my life. He ruined my life for 3 years, then I was 'free' for a year. But I wasn't really free of Him. I've spent 6 years of my life crippled and terrified because of Him.

I would never be free of Him. He may not be able to hurt me anymore, but He's already hurt me and the ghost of His hits would forever haunt me. My body might heal but I will forever feel the pain, I will always hurt. The wounds didn't just go as deep as my skin. No, they sunk into my very bones, sunk into my marrow, seeped into my bloodstream, and now the pain circulates through my body with my blood.

I heard nurses run in, and soon they had pushed the others out and surrounded me, telling me to calm down. Couldn't they see that I couldn't calm down? I was fucking gone! He had gotten His wish, my life would always be a life lived in fear, in terror, in pain, because of Him. Because of Him! I would never be free of Him! Never!

"I HATE YOU JOHN HASTINGS! I HATE YOU" I screamed, crying.

I kept fighting, thrashing in the bed and screaming, crying. I clawed at myself, trying to scratch the images from my head, but I couldn't get it out. I would never forget it, any of it.

The doors burst open and I heard Ronnie yelling and the nurses ordering him back. I opened my eyes to see Ronnie reaching out to me, looking concerned.

The nurses pushed him back and I screamed for him, stretching my own arm out.

Ronnie. Ronnie was the only one who could help me.

And then I felt a pinch in my neck and cold rushed through my body and my cries fell away as my horrific visions faded to black.