The Drug In Me (Ronnie Radke Love Story)

Club 2

Jacky was the first to see me, and he smiled and nudged Ryan, who looked up and stared, shocked.

I knew it, I knew I looked bad, I should just take this off and go to bed, this was stupid, I can't believe I actually agreed to this, why did I do this?

I watched in fear as everyone looked up one by one, until finally, it was Ronnie. His head turned slowly, and he curved his body around and looked dead at me.

My heart stopped and my breathing hitched as I watched for his reaction. Oh god, he hated it didnt he, oh shit oh shit. I bit my lip and hid my face in my hands, turning around and trying to hide in Janey.

But she wasn't having any of it, and she whispered to me, "you look beautiful, so stop that" and then she pushed me into the room and said "now go, shoo you're crowding up the bus."

I turned back around and did a wave, standing there awkwardly. Jacky stood up and grabbed my arm, pulling me towards the door. "You look great" he whispered to me.

I smiled a bit, saying "thanks."

We took multiple cars so that we didnt all have to go home at the same time. As it turned out, I got put in Ronnie's car with Max.

I offered to sit in the back but Max insisted that I sit in the front. The whole ride Ronnie didn't say anything, he didn't even look at me. I kept my head down with my hair hiding my face.

I knew this was a bad idea.

As soon as he pulled into the parking spot I unlocked the door and burst out, rushing away. I ran up to Jacky and held onto him, trying to hold back the tears and the fear.

What did I do? Could he really be that upset just over an outfit? Was it the makeup? Did I do something wrong?

We walked to the door and flashed our IDs. When the guy spotted me he looked at me and grabbed my arm, pulling me to him and staring into my face.

"You better be good, I've got half the mind to kick you out right now. If I so much as see you hit someone, you're getting thrown out" he said. 

Suddenly someone grabbed his arm and pulled him off me. "Hands off" Ronnie said. When the guy nodded and backed up, Ronnie walked into the building, without even glancing back at me.

If he's mad at me, then why did he do that?

My mind is reeling, but I step through the threshold into the club. The pounding music echoes into my ears and the bodies thrashing around makes me nervous.

Maybe this was a bad idea, there's so many people, all around me. If someone were to try something, I bet no one would even do anything about it. I look around to see that I already lost everyone. Oh fuck, why did I agree to this? 

I look around, desperately searching. I spot Ronnie by the bar with Max, talking to 2 girls in minidresses. I look away quickly and turn around, looking for the others. Jacky or Ryan or Ron have to be around here somewhere...

People bump into me, dance on me, grab me, and grope me as I make my way through the masses, trying to find someone that I know. "Hey there pretty lady" someone sneers at me, pulling on me. I push him away and keep moving around. 

My heart starts going crazy as everywhere I look I'm surrounded by people. They seem to go on forever, and none of them want to help me.

Some ignore me, and others grin at me maliciously. None of them are nice. I start hyperventilating, desperately trying to find a gap to get through, but I can't find one.

Everyone is creeping in closer, closer, until Im completely surrounded with no space between myself and them. Bodies all over, dancing on me, twerking, groping, grabbing, laughing. I nearly scream, but even if I had tried, I wouldnt have been able to.

I'm having trouble breathing, choking on the overused air. Theres not enough oxygen in the air with all these people here to use it up. 

I start to see dots in my vision, and I feel like I'm surely gonna pass out any second now. Where is everyone?

No wonder Ronnie doesnt even wanna be around me, I can't even have fun at a club. Why did I say I wanted to come? How did I think I could handle it? 

I definitely cannot handle it. The floor starts to spin around me, all the people becoming blurs of colors, and the music hurts my ears.

I can't tell for sure, but I think Ive fallen on the floor now. My vision comes and goes in snaps, light then dark then light again. 

A blur of black appears in front of my vision and strong grip wraps around my arm, pulling me up.

"You idiot, you were supposed to stay with Ryan or Jacky, not go off by yourself" a voice says to me, probably belonging to the person whos holding me.

I still cant see enough to know who it is, but I'm hoping its someone I know because I dont have the energy to fight anyone off. 

I sense that we're out of the dance floor area since the air seems to be cooler. A drink is put in my hands and I hesitate to drink it but my head hurts so much that I can't resist. It tastes like plain water, but you never know what odorless, tasteless chemical or drug could be in it. 

I finish the drink and my head clears a bit, becoming less hazy and more clear. I blink and look over to see Ronnie leaning against the wall next to me.

Oh thank Death that its just him.

"Thats what you meant before, right?" I said to him, breathing heavily. He looked at me for a while and then nodded.

"You alright?" he asked. I nodded and leaned my head back.

"Thank you" I said to him, closing my eyes.

"Mmmm" he said in response, and I peeked an eye open to see him staring at my chest. I moved my arms to cover them before realizing that he was just staring at my tattoo.

He laughed a bit, probably guessing what I was thinking and then said, "those are nice, you should show them more often." 

I blushed and looked at him, but he didnt have his smirk on. He was looking at me curiously, like he was trying to figure something out.

He stepped closer, and stared into my face, puzzled. He raised a hand and put it on my cheek, and the familiar shivers came. "What happened to you?" he whispered, and I'm sure he was asking himself as well as me.

I bit my lip, but I couldnt look away from his eyes. So intense, so entrancing, so intoxicating, he was like a high that I can never get down from. And I'm still trying to decide if thats bad or good.

A voice interrupts the moment. Someone stumbles into the hallway, probably from  the bathroom or something, and staggers towards us, then stops, probably spotting us.

"Hey chick, dont get wrapped up in his lies, he's a fucking cunt. His addict ass is gonna get thrown back in jail any day now" the person sneered. 

I knew exactly who it was. And even though my back was to them, I knew roughly where they were too. Thats why when I turned around and swung, my fist collided perfectly with their glowering jaw. 

"Craig fucking Mabbitt. So not nice to finally meet you" I sneered back at him, scowling. He was leaning against the wall, holding his jaw in his hands.

I could see an impressive bruise starting to form. Good, just the way I wanted it. "What the fuck, who the hell are you?" he said, wincing in pain at moving his mouth.

"You're probably gonna wanna not talk for a bit, you'll just make it worse" I said, then I turned around to walk away. Of course, instead I stop, and there they are. The man from the door is staring right at me, his arms crossed, his mouth in an angry smirk. 

"I knew I shouldnt have let you in" he said, and grabbed my arm forcefully, dragging me away. Ronnie followed me, and the guy turned to look at him. "You're trouble too, I don't want your kind here, its bad publicity" he said to the both of us. 

When he got to the door, he threw us out. Actually threw us. I stumbled and slipped, but Ronnie grabbed my waist and held me up. 

"Well, that was interesting" Ronnie said, and when I looked at him I was surprised to see that he was smiling.