The Drug In Me (Ronnie Radke Love Story)

Home Now

*Ryker*

Just like I said, I took a long bath and washed my hair 3 times as soon as I got home. I cried a bit as I sat in privacy, reveling in the feeling of clean water and a locked door. I was by myself, free to do what I wanted again. I had just accepted that I would never be free, and now that I was, it was overwhelming.

When I got back to my room I was surprised to see that it looked like it had been ransacked. Detectives were probably looking for evidence that I was a bad person or something.

Or, I guess it could have been that way when I left. I wasn't exactly the tidiest person, as I recall.

I got dressed and then I re-dyed my hair so my red tips were blood red instead of faded. 

Then I stumbled down the stairs, excited for my very first home cooked meal in 4 years.

Instead I came downstairs to see my family lugging suitcases outside, to the truck.

I had always had a strained relationship with them, but I didn't expect this.

"Okay, we're all packed. Let's get on the road. The Satan girl can't come," my dad says, walking past me without even glancing at me.

My older sister Kari did the same, brushing past me and leaving. My brother August waved, and said goodbye, getting in the car.

My mom gave me a hug and left. That just left Ashley.

She ran to me and pulled me into a gargantuan hug, crying into my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry for everything! It's all my fault!" She was crying; shouldn't I be the one crying?

"Shh, no it's all Pat's fault, it's okay," I murmured into her blonde hair.

"I'm so sorry, I love you," she mumbled.

"S'okay. Now go, before they leave without you," I say.

She nods, and calls out "Owen!"

I was trembling with excitement, and fear. It's been four years, surely he won't remember me.

"Who's that mommy?" my five year old nephew asks warily, hiding from me behind Ashley's legs.

"Remember your other aunt, the one I told you about?" Her voice grew soft, talking to him.

Owen nodded "the one that grampa hates?"

I cringed, ouch. It was pretty obvious, but it hurt nonetheless.

Ashley looked at me apologetically, "the one who saved mommy from Pat and then had to leave for a while. Well she's back now, so say hi?"

I kneeled down to Owen's height and just stared at him. He was so adorable, I started crying at how much of his life I missed because of Pat.

Owen rushed over to me and patted me on the back with his tiny hands, hugging me. "Don't cry. It's okay. You never half to weeve again!" I pulled him close to me and stood up, hugging him to me and spinning him around.

His delighted laughs made my heart twinge in happiness and love and sadness. And longing, but I won't get into that. I definitely won't be getting pregnant anytime soon.

"Bye hon, I love you. Love ya Ashley, but you guys have to leave now. go on, I can't come this time, but I'll be here when you get back," I say, giving Owen and Ashley one last hug.

When they left I went to the kitchen and opened the fridge, searching for food. I settled for a wrinkled piece of cheese and tomato pizza.

So much for a fresh, home cooked meal.