The Drug In Me (Ronnie Radke Love Story)

Escape?

My heart beat in crazy patterns as I felt the time pass. Night was getting closer, I could feel it. The anticipation was killing me, I felt as if I would burst and combust from all the pent-up anxiety.

I was hoping that the adrenaline would course through my veins so that I would have the energy to pull this off. This was it. If I didn't beat Him with this, it was all over for me. I might as well use the glass to slit my throat and end it all if this didn't work, because this was the last chance, my only fucking chance. If I fucked this up, it was all over, the end.

I went over what I would do a thousand times in my head, thinking of all the possible uses, all the possible injuries I could inflict. Then, I finally mustered up the courage to grab the lightbulb.

It was high up, so I had to jump a bit before I finally reached it. I held on tight and clenched my fist, and the lightbulb shattered in my hand. The light went out, and I was engulfed in darkness. I was terrified, but I knew it would help me.

The glass cut into my hand, but I ignored the pain-it hardly hurt more than anything I've gotten before. I hurt so much, what was one more cut, one more wound? It was nothing really.

I wiped the blood on my shirt so that my hand wouldn't be slippery, and then I picked up as many shards as I could find, and held them in my fists.

And then, I waited.

Waited for Him to come.

Waited for the opportunity.

Waited for my chance.

Waited to escape.

I was scared, I was worried, I was anxious, I was nervous. But a part of me was looking forward to it, hoping that it would work. I could once and for all end all my trouble with Him, I could be okay. I could be free, if I did this right. I couldn't afford to fuck it up, I couldn't.

I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself, and then I heard His car approach. I gulped in and began to wail, screaming and crying. Time to act...

"P-Please, please come help me! The lightbulb-it turned off! Its so dark down here, please come down I'm scared, I'm so scared, I don't want to be alone in the dark" I yelled to Him, luring Him in. I knew I had to explain why it was dark, so I pretended that the light had blown out-though it wouldn't have been much of a surprise if it had.

I heard Him move the wood covering the entrance, and then there was a clammer He was crawling down. I hid right next to the ladder, being as inconspicuous as possible. But if I was quiet He'd be suspicious.

I started breathing heavily, as if in fear. I heard His little snicker, muttering to Himself about how I was such a wimp, scared of the dark, saying He'd show me something to be scared of, and it wouldn't be the goddamn dark.

I heard Him get close to the ground, felt Him near me, and I waited till He had put His foot on the ground, then I stuck a piece of glass in Him, maybe His leg, I don't know. He yelled and it sounded like He had fallen backwards. I stumbled around, looking for Him.

"GOD DAMN YOU WHORE WHEN I FIND YOU IM GOING TO BEAT YOU HARDER THAN EVER BEFORE, IM GOING TO FUCK YOU SO HARD YOU'LL BE CRYING FOR DAYS, ILL FUCKING BREAK YOUR UGLY FUCKING ARMS AND LEGS YOU CUNT" He yelled at me, furious.

I clenched my teeth and my foot found Him, so I threw my arm down and stabbed another piece into Him. I kept putting different pieces of glass into wherever I could reach, then darting away to avoid Him catching me with His flailing arms.

But then He caught my ankle and dragged me to the floor. I fell painfully and my back cracked. He dug His nails into my skin and He grabbed at me. And I had dropped the glass shards in my fall! I splayed me hands out, searching. But I could only find one, a very small one.

He had gotten me, and I only had 1 piece of glass left....

He pulled me up and began to choke me, shaking me. I hid the glass in my hand and reached out, trying to find His face. "I SWEAR, I COULD FUCKING KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!" He screamed at me. My blood was boiling, adrenaline pumping, so I screamed in his face, as my hands found His neck, "I COULD FUCKING KILL YOU"

Then, I pushed the glass through my finger tips, lodging it in the side of His neck.

He dropped me, screaming, and I darted away, searching for the ladder. I was so scared, so scared. What if I failed like last time? What if-what if I didn't make it? Would He kill me? Would I die down here?

I tried to keep quiet so He wouldn't know where I was, and I finally found the ladder. I began to climb it, terror pushing me faster. All the while I expected hands on my ankles, ripping me back into my pit, but I didn't feel it.

And I reached the top and rolled off, pulling the ladder up to the ground. I slammed the board on top of the pit and began piling as many rocks on top of it as I could. I never wanted Him to be able to get out, not on His own.

Maybe the cops would find Him.

My adrenaline was running out, no longer pumping, so I left the pit, stumbling to my feet. I began to run.

And as I ran, I felt the air, felt the wind in my face, felt the moon shining down on me. And I smelled the world, smelled the pine, smelled the flowers, smelled everything.

I became so elated, so happy. I was free! I was fucking free!

I ran until my energy drained to nothing.

I was still in the forest, and there was still only forest as far as my eyes could see. How far had I made it? How far did I have to go?

I collapsed onto the ground, my hands feeling the grass beneath me.

I was exhausted. I was starving. I was completely out of energy. I was utterly lost. I was in so much pain I don't know how my body didn't just cave in under all the weight and pain.

But I was fucking free.

I dug my hands into the grass, feeling the soft, itchy shoots. It was so much better than the dirt and rock I had been laying on for far too long.

I gripped the grass in my fists, and passed out.