The Drug In Me (Ronnie Radke Love Story)

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When I woke up, I felt the pounding so much I honestly thought that my head was shaking along with the pain. My head was throbbing, and I felt horrible. Why had I done that before?

This would probably be the worst hangover I've ever had. 2 whole bottles of Jack fucking Daniels? What was I thinking? What possessed me to be so stupid and careless?

Me.

No! Shut up, leave me alone!

Stupid girl, you're never alone

I'm always here.

I always will be.

I am you

You are me

No, no stop! Thats not true! It's not! I am nothing like you! You are cruel!

That may be so.

You may not be me yet

But you will be me.

Soon, it's inevitable

Don't fight it

There's no use.

Just give in.

Just give in.

No! I won't! I-I'm hurting Ronnie! Just drinking alcohol makes him sad, imagine what will happen when he finds out I relapsed on heroin?!! He'll feel so betrayed and upset and heartbroken.. I couldn't do that to him!

He won't find out you dumbass

Just don't tell him

Don't tell anyone

It'll be our little secret

No! I won't do it! I-I won't!

Oh of course you will!

No, no! NO!

My head was pounding, and I was in too much pain to deal with the voice and all it said. I would not do what it said, I-it was lying, it didn't know what it was talking about!!

I sat up and looked over to the bedside table, and saw a blue pill and a glass of water. I picked up the pill curiously, and then I saw the note under it. It read "Ryker, I'm at a Soundcheck right now. Here's an Advil. Drink some water and take a shower, you reek. And when I get back, were having a long talk"

Uh oh. I knew he would be mad, but seeing him write Ryker instead of just Ry proved that he was pretty pissed...

I gulped, scared to face Ronnie. Oh god, I could only imagine all the stupid things I'd done and said. I blushed thinking about it and covered my face in my hands, mumbling "WHY?"

I took the Advil and drank the water, and then I stood up, cradling my head. The medicine better kick in soon, this was a killer splitting migraine. Make it stop....

"Take a shower" the note had said. Did I really reek? I cupped my hand in front of my face and breathed out, trying to smell my breath. I gagged; he was right, I did reek. I was covered in the smell of Jack and sweat. Blech.

I grabbed some clothes and walked to the bathroom, moaning and groaning the whole way. I was in so much pain, it was awful. I have to remind myself to never drink 2 full bottles of Jack Daniels, ever again. I was dying...

I stripped and hopped in the shower, turning it to a colder setting to soothe my burning head. I washed my hair and gargled out my mouth, and I brushed my teeth before washing my arms and legs. Then I turned the water off and grabbed a towel, drying off and rubbing my hair.