The Drug In Me (Ronnie Radke Love Story)

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**** thanks to all of you, I really would be nothing without all you lovely people. I am really really grateful to all of you. ****

After a while of relaxing and goofing around, I started feeling it-the need for my next fix. I tried to ignore it; it was ruining the good mood. But you can't ignore this, no matter how hard you try, because if you fight it it just gets worse and worse.

For a while I had forgotten all the bad things I do, and I just enjoyed the company of my friends, but now the urge was back and it was reminding me of what a horrible person I was.

It made me want to cry.

I started thinking, and decided what I was going to do.

I swam to the edge of the pool and pulled myself out, grabbing a towel to dry myself and wrap around my body and hair. I quickly rushed to the door, disappearing into the house before anyone could question me.

I ran up the stairs, trying not to drip all over Ronnie's house, and ran into the bathroom where I had left my jacket. I emptied the pockets, laying my phone on the sink and getting everything I needed out.

I ran the water and filled the spoon carefully. I had to do it five times before it worked, because the water wasn't staying in the spoon; it was splashing out and scurrying to the drain.

After the heroin had dissolved and I had sucked it up into the syringe, I looked at my arm intently.

I didn't want to do my forearm, it would be too obvious if I came back with it redder than before. And it might bleed-that would be hard to explain. Nobody had questioned it before, because I had kept my arms close to myself, but I wasn't going to take that chance.

I looked at my wrist, and pulled the hairbands off, looking at the plump blue veins running from my hand.

Hmm.

I put the needle to my wrist and plunged it down into the largest vein, pushing the top down until all the heroin was gone.

I moved the hairbands down to cover my wrist again and smiled into the mirror.

During my euphoric moment, my phone started buzzing, nearly falling off of the sink.

I picked it up and answered giddily. "Hello! How are you?!! What's up? How's it going? Are you good? Are you? Good!" I said, talking fast and erratically.

"Woah, slow down there missy. It's Luna, and Echo, and Andy and Max. We were in town and wondered if you wanted to meet up" Luna's voice said.

"Sure! Come to Ronnie's house, just go around back, we're having a pool party!" I nearly yelled and hung up, just in time to slump against the wall, exhausted.

I walked down the stairs slowly, desperately gripping the railing. Don't fall, don't fall, don't fall....

I made it down and walked back to the kitchen, leaning against the door and looking out to Ronnie and the others.

I stared at Ronnie, seeing him smiling and splashing around.

I really loved him, and he looked so happy, and I was going to ruin him, when he found out what I do, he would hate me!

Ronnie turned and noticed me, and he asked "what took you so long?"

I dropped the towels on a chair, getting ready to get back in the water.

"Oh, Luna called. Her, Max, Echo, and Andy are coming over" I replied, so grateful that they had called. It was the perfect alibi. I hadn't even thought about how long I had taken, it must have been weird, me leaving with no explanation and coming back a long time after.