Downplay| Jordan Clarkson & Quincy Brown

•t h i r t y e i g h t•

Paris had changed things, Yara and Quincy, both knew it and felt it. From the moment they'd landed back in Nevada, they realized that they felt a happiness brewing between them that didn't seem like it could ever be put away. Yara liked to think of it as the peace you obtained when something or rather someone was just right. Quincy knew that it was because he'd finally broken through the last wall, Yara had opened to him completely. She'd agreed to be his wife and he was overjoyed.

Now, as he sat at the kitchen island and watched her whip up Shrimp & Grits for him, he couldn't help the smile that came to his face whenever he saw her. Her tiny frame carried an air of assuredness. Yara was in her element, she was safe, loved and at home. The only thing that was missing was the colorful laughter of her child. Yara's face faltered for a bit as she realized that the home was silent, no Jahi clapping or crying or babbling as he always did. She couldn't hear his little hands tapping the floor as he crawled.

"He'll be back tomorrow Shug. I miss him too." Quincy attempted to comfort her. He admired how much time and love Yara poured into Jahi. She never left him unless she had no other alternative and when they were separated, she called and talked to him every day.

"I know, it's just weird not having him here with us." For a moment, she paused before she turned off the stove and turned to Quincy "I never saw myself as a mother, I liked the idea of kids but I just, I didn't know if I could be a good parent. Then Jahi happened and... nothing else mattered as long as he was in my arms."

"You're an amazing parent." Quincy assured but she just smirked before she turned to plate the hot food for them both.

"I hope so, I didn't really have a relationship with my actual parents when I was growing up so sometimes it's hard to not feel like I'm destined to mess up in some way. Like genetically, there's some sort of disconnect. My aunt and uncle are the best people I know, they poured so much into me but you know there was and is still this void. This feeling that I wasn't worth a harder try for either of my parents."

He hated to see the sadness that currently clouded her features. As she placed his plate in front of him before resting hers down, he wrapped his arm around her waist and lifted her into his lap.

"Q, I'm fine I just... being with you has made me realize that I want the family I never had, I want to give those experiences to my children, and I just hope that I'm not the one that ruins that perfect picture."

"You won't be shug, look I'm sure if your mom or dad could rewind the clock, they would but then you wouldn't be you. We may not have even crossed paths, it was Ms. Denise who picked out that apartment for you when you moved to Cali. I know that hurt doesn't go away, especially when you feel abandoned. I've been there but we aren't mistakes and we don't have to be burdened by our parent's mistakes. You're only genetically engineered to succeed, look at all you've accomplished for yourself by yourself. When I think of a failure, you are not what I think of, you are the furthest thing from that."

She couldn't meet his eyes but his words were resonating with her. She rested her head on his chest and sighed.

"Yara, look at me."

Gently, he placed his fingers under her chin and raised her face so that their eyes met. He placed a tender kiss on her forehead.

"You got this, and I'm right next to you. We'll have our version of a picture-perfect family, and we'll help each other always."

"I know, thank you. I told myself that I was fine for so long. I thought I didn't need my actual dad because I had Uncle G. Aunt Denise was more of a mother than Elizabeth ever was, but I don't have Denise's eyes or Gregory's face. Every time I look in the mirror, I see people who weren't there. I look at my son and the parts of me I see are all Michael Underwood, a man I never knew. I suppressed it until Elizabeth came back and she told me everything. It was easier when I thought they didn't love me. Having her around changed everything. I'm glad to know her, Isla, and Ivy but it just reminds me that I never knew him. I never knew Michael and he wanted to know me. He wanted to know me so badly that he got in that accident trying to convince his wife to accept me."