aversion | bbangnyu

11

Although Chanhee's alarm had been going off for the past five minutes, he laid still, staring up at the ceiling. Finally grabbing his phone, he turned the noise off and went back to blankly staring at things  in his room.

"Chanhee? Are you up?" Chanhee's mom asked as she peaked her head in the room. She frowned at the sight of her son still in bed, "You have to leave soon."

"I don't feel good," he whispered, suddenly feeling his eyes well up with tears, "I can't go to school today."

The woman walked over to her son and placed her hand on his forehead, seeing if he had a fever. "You don't feel warm...what is it?"

Finally sitting up, Chanhee wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "I...just can't go," he choked out as the dam holding back his tears finally broke.

"Did something happen at school?" She asked quietly.

As a mother, it was terrifying when she found out her son was gay. She didn't have a problem with it, but she knew there was always going to be somebody who did. So every time Mrs Choi saw her son cry she always thought the worst.

"I'm so tired of this mom," he cried into her shoulder, "I just want to be normal."

When she heard those words, the woman couldn't help but tear up. "There is nothing wrong with you, honey," She reassured softly as she rubbed his back.

Pulling away from his mom, Chanhee rubbed at his eyes and mumbled, "I just want to be in love like everybody else...but I'm not sure it's ever going to happen."

"Everybody has their person, but sometimes you have to be patient while you find them." The woman placed her hands on either side of the boy's face and said, "Me and your father didn't meet until we were in our twenties. You're still so young, you have the rest of your life to be in love."

"But I'm already tired of waiting..." Chanhee said, his bottom lip quivering as he spoke.

"Why are you acting like your forty all of the sudden? Is there somebody that you might have feelings for?"

Chanhee scoffed at the smile forming on the woman's lips. "You just can't let me be sad?" He muttered.

"So there is somebody?"

The boy just shrugged, "All I know is that...I'm really confused."

Closing her eyes, Chanhee's mother tired to piece together the story. "Ok...so you have a crush and you don't want to go to school. Those two must be connected, right? You like somebody at school?"

"...why are you so worried about it?"

"If you tell me what's going on I'll let you stay home from school and take you out for lunch. Deal?"

A grin spread across the boys face before he nodded, "Deal."

✨✨✨

"Okay..." Mrs Choi started as the two sat down at a table, "tell me everything."

Pretending like he didn't hear the woman, Chanhee picked up one of the menu's and put of over his face.

"Yah!" She whispered, pulling the menu from his hands, "I will drive you to school right now."

"Fine..." Chanhee grumbled. Clearing his throat, the boy looked around the restaurant trying to see what he could do to stall. He hadn't taken much time to think about what happened and doing so right now didn't sound ideal.

"Well I'm waiting."

"I just need a minute."

"You've had plenty of minutes."

With a dramatic sigh, Chanhee decided it was finally time to tell his mom what happened. "I think I should start from the beginning..."

✨✨✨

"Kim Younghoon kissed you!?" The woman hissed before chugging the soft drink in front of her. "Kim Younghoon...the star of the school."

Chanhee hummed, "And now I just don't know what to do—he drives me crazy mom."

"But wait a minute," Mrs Choi started, holding her finger up, "You told me how much of a jerk he's been but earlier you said...do you have feelings for him?"

A frown formed on the boys lips as he shrugged, "When I was at the last basketball game and he made that shot—I thought for a split second he is so handsome. But every time we talk he's just so immature."

Taking a second to think about the situation, the woman closed her eyes and leaned back in the booth. "I know you're not going to like this but I met his dad once at this parent meeting—he's a real jerk. I can understand why Younghoon does some of the things he does."

"Mom, parents don't have anything to do with how somebody acts it's no—"

"Chanhee," the woman warned in a gentle tone, "As a parent myself I can say that it does. I saw Mr Kim scream at the team's coach just because Younghoon missed one shot in one of his games. I wouldn't be surprised if that boy is just doing everything he can to make his parents satisfied."

With a sigh, Chanhee laid his head on the table and mumbled, "I just don't get it."

"You don't have to get it, honey. All I'm saying is maybe you shouldn't count Younghoon out so quick. I mean he did kiss you...and I'm pretty sure people don't go around kissing for no reason." 

"You're telling me you think Kim Younghoon is a closeted gay boy who goes around kissing other gay boys?"

"I don't know why you said it like that..." the woman muttered, "no, he probably isn't one hundred percent gay and in love with you...but I'm sure he's confused to the point where he wanted to kiss you."

"It was obviously a mistake because he kissed me then ran away." 

"You should stop being so negative about this. You're telling you just woke up one day and said oh I'm gay?"

"Yes."

The woman dramatically rolled her eyes and grumbled, "I don't know why I ever talk to you." 

———

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