aversion | bbangnyu

25

A sharp breath fell from Chanhee's lips as he walked into his house, letting himself lean back on the front door. His heart was beating as if he just finished running a marathon. He brought a hand up to his neck and pressed two fingers against his artery, trying to figure out if he was having a heart attack.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Chanhee's head snapped up to he both his parents sitting on the couch together, staring at their son with concerned expressions. The boy held a finger up as he tried to catch his breath.

"I...kissed him—we kissed again and then I ran away the same way he did," Chanhee explained frantically.

"You and Younghoon kissed?" The woman asked, not too sure who in particular the boy was blabbering about.

He quickly nodded, "it just happened—then I freaked out."

Mr Choi raised an eyebrow as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Who exactly did you kiss...?" He asked slowly.

Slapping his arm, his wife let out a dramatic sigh, "Younghoon. The boy that stayed for dinner a while back—get with it."

"Oh so you're going around kissing jocks? Absolutely not. I forbid you from kissing him—now that I think about it, I forbid you from kissing anybody."

"Dad I—"

"End of discussion no kissing."

"Oh will you shut up!" Mrs Choi hissed. She pointed to the chair across from the couch, gesturing for Chanhee to sit down. "Tell me what happened," she urged softly.

There was a long stretch of silence as Chanhee tried to figure out himself what actually happened. "Well, Younghoon wanted to teach me how to play basketball a few months ago—and he wanted to play again today so I agreed. When we were playing, he helped me shoot the ball and...I don't know we were just really close and I just went for it." He quickly held up a finger and clarified, "I tried to just apologize and act like it didn't happen but then he kissed me again."

The woman rolled her eyes at the sigh of her husbands despair and decided to focus on the one with a real problem. "Did you talk to him after at all?"

"No..." Chanhee whispered before pressing his lips together as tightly as he could. "I grabbed his hand, high fived him, then ran out of the gym before we could talk," he answered reluctantly.

Hearing the boy's words, Chanhee's mother had to stifle a laugh. "Oh my sweet baby," she spoke gently, "there is so much wrong with that."

"I just have no idea what I'm supposed to do now."

"Do you like him?"

"What?"

The woman sent the boy a small smile, "don't think about it, just answer it," she spoke softly, "Do you like Younghoon?"

"I think I do."

"You think so?"

"I like him a lot."

Chanhee's father shook his head as he stood up. "I need some free air..." he muttered. 

"Don't worry about him," the woman spoke, "he just doesn't like that you've grown up, you're his baby."

A frown formed on Chanhee's lips, eyes wandering down to look at his lap. "I don't like that I'm grown up either, it's too much work..." he muttered.

"Just talk to him, Chanhee," she said sternly, "You two can't keep running away from your feelings and act like a functional relationship is going to fall from the sky. Somebody needs to do something or nothings going to happen."

✨✨✨

Chanhee paced back and forth across the length of his bedroom as he listened to his phone ring. As each unanswered second passed, his heart rate rose, sure that Younghoon planned to never speak to him again. He felt so stupid, he should've just stayed to talk about things instead of ruining them indefinitely. 

A disheartened sigh fell from Chanhee's lips as he was sent to voicemail. He knew there was going to be an inevitable awkwardness between the two, but he never expected Younghoon to go as far as to ignore him. Before he could let his mind wander any further, there was a knock on his door.

Getting up to open the door, he was greeted by Younghoon standing on the other side. "Hey," he said quietly.

"Hi," Chanhee whispered, stepping aside so the elder could come into his room

"Your mom let me in..." Younghoon said hesitantly, not too sure if Chanhee even wanted him there, "I...think that we should talk."

Struggling to make eye contact with the elder, Chanhee continued to stare at the floor as he nodded. "I think so too," he said before he walked over to sit on the edge of his bed.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room while Younghoon walked over to sit at the chair in front of Chanhee's vanity. Both of them knew what needing to talk meant, but neither of them wanted to follow through.

"I'm sorry I left without saying anything," Chanhee said finally.

A small smile formed on Younghoon's lips before he shrugged, "I did the same thing to you." There was a long pause before Younghoon let out a harsh breath, "I didn't think this was going to be so awkward..."

Laughing at the boy's words, Chanhee nodded once again. "Me either..." he whispered, finally lifting his head to look at Younghoon.

"I like you, Chanhee," Younghoon admitted reluctantly, "I have for a while now." 

A light blush tinted Chanhee's cheeks as his eyes fluttered back down to his lap. Never in all the months of knowing Younghoon had he ever felt nervous around nervous, yet he couldn't seem to speak.

"You don't have to say anything...I think I get it."

"Get what?" He asked softly.

"It's just that when we kissed...it didn't seem like you felt the same way."

"I do...feel the same way," Chanhee started shakily, "I just got nervous, I guess I'm just not used to stuff like that."

There were a few moments of silence before a smile flickered across his face and he mumbled, "You like me..." 

——— 

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