aversion | bbangnyu

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"Younghoon!" Yeri called, trying to get the boy's attention before he left the room.

Younghoon slowly turned around to face her, his eyebrows knit together in confusion. "What?" He asked quietly.

"I need to talk to you—let's go sit outside," the girl urged, linking arms with him before he could deny her offer. The two silently walked through the hallways until they made it outside, walking over to one of the empty benches looking out at the parking lot.

"What do you want to talk about? I'm kinda busy so I can't really st—"

"It'll be quick," Yeri stuttered, feeling her own nervousness about the situation. She reached into the pocket of the sweatshirt she was wearing and pulled out a necklace. With a sigh, she untangled the chain and pushed it towards the elder. "Chanhee wanted me to give this back to you."

Reaching out a shaky hand, Younghoon took the necklace and crumpled it in his fist. He didn't care too much about the sting of the metal digging into the palm of his hand as he asked, "is Chanhee alright? How is he?"

Yeri looked into his glossed over eyes and scoffed, "why didn't you answer when he called you and ask him yourself?"

"Look—all of this...it's complicated."

"Explain it to me then."

Younghoon took a deep breath and tried his hardest to keep the tears at bay. "I don't want to talk about it," he whispered, knowing if he spoke any louder he might just break down.

"What the hell can be so complicated that you can't even give Chanhee a real reason why you broke up with him!?"

"I did—I told it wasn't fair for him to be with a boy who wasn't out. He deserves to be with somebody who can actually be there for him—no matter where they are."

"Younghoon..." Yeri started, her demeanor softening just a bit, "I get it. I know how much you care about Chanhee because that's just how you are. But I'm sure you guys could've figured something out. Chanhee isn't just going to leave you because you're not out."

Using his sleeve to wipe at his damp cheeks, Younghoon looked away from the girl and shook his head. "I don't think I'll ever be out, Yeri, that's the problem. I can't tell my parents—I just can't, okay? Things were going to fall apart at some point and it's just better to end it here."

"I can't tell you what to do, but you two love each other. You still love each other and I hate seeing both of you so upset."

✨✨✨

"Honey," Younghoon's mother started gently as she walked into her son's room, spotting the boy sitting at his desk, "are you busy?"

Pausing the YouTube video explaining the assignment he was attempting to do, Younghoon looked up at her and shrugged. "I have all night to do this—what do you need?"

"I'd like to talk to you about something if that's alright."

Younghoon watched as the woman walked over to sit on the edge of his bed before he nodded. "Sure—we can talk about whatever."

The woman flashed a nervous smile, her eyes fluttering down to her lap before she started, "me and your father did some talking...well we tried to. Anyway...we decided that when you're finished with school and go off to college, we're going to get a divorce."

"Dad agreed to get a divorce?"

"Not exactly..." the woman whispered, "but I think that this is something I need to do. He isn't really deserving of a second chance."

Younghoon nodded, an unreadable expression on his face as he tried to comprehend the situation. For some reason he was conflicted. It almost felt selfish to feel such a thing when he knew how horrible his father was to all of them—but they're his parents. "Are you going to move out?" He asked quietly.

"I'm not going to leave you here alone with him, Younghoon, I won't. We've made it this far, we just have a few more months." She stopped and cleared her throat, trying to see if there was any sort of reaction on her son's face. "I talked to my parents last night and I'm probably going to go stay with them for a little bit—it's not too exciting for me because what forty year old woman moves back in with her parents, but it'll be fine. I don't plan on getting much from your father so it'll be a good place to stay while I get back on my feet."

"Mom," Younghoon spoke suddenly, his voice tired and broken.

The woman's head snapped up from her lap at the sound of his voice. "What?" She asked rapidly.

"These past couple of days all I can think about is Youngsik—and I'm...I'm so mad at him, mom. We all had to deal with this—we all did! And then he—he just left me all alone. Did he even think of how this would hurt me—did he even think of me at all?"

"Your brother..." She started quietly, having to take a few moments to keep herself from tearing up, "your brother couldn't fight anymore, Younghoon. Just because he left us doesn't mean that he didn't care about us. He loved you so much, don't think for a second that he didn't."

"I just miss him," Younghoon cried as his mother pulled his head down to rest on her shoulder, "it's not fair that every day for the rest of my life I have to miss him. He was supposed to be there for me—he was my older brother. He was supposed to be there for the rest of my life."

Taking a deep breath so she could keep her voice from breaking, the woman told him, "he's still with you, Younghoon." She placed a gentle hand over his heart and whispered, "he's right there and he always will be. Youngsik has protected you since you were little and I know he always will."

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