aversion | bbangnyu

61

*three months later*

"Hey," Younghoon said softly as he climbed into the passenger seat of Chanhee's car.

"Hey," the younger responded, waving to Mrs Kim who was out watering the flowers in the front yard.

After everything that happened, Younghoon stayed with Chanhee and his parents for a week. They had to follow a specific set of rules after Mrs Choi woke up to see both Younghoon and Chanhee asleep on the couch together the first two nights he stayed over.

Because he momentarily moved in, Mr Choi was forced to spend some time with Younghoon and got to know him just a little bit. The two weren't best friends, but the man definitely could understand what his son saw in him.

Younghoon stayed with the Choi family until the day of their graduation. Mrs Choi insisted that Younghoon just stayed until he went off to college, and the boy almost accepted her offer. That was until he saw his mother at the ceremony that evening.

Neither of his parents tired to contact him after he told his father about him and Chanhee. He wasn't disappointed per se, but he didn't quite understand why neither of his parents cared about him just leaving.

That was until his mother held his hand and told him she was proud of him. It was a lousy sort of apology for disappearing, Younghoon knew that's what that meant. But it didn't matter to him. They were all fighting their own wars and he wasn't going to hold it against his mother that theirs overlapped.

She told Younghoon that she had moved out too and moved back in with her parents. He remembered the sad smile she wore as she spoke. It was obvious she was disappointed that she had to resort back to her parents for support. She asked him to stay with them until he left for college, he agreed.

No matter what she had done, what she said or hadn't said, she was always going to be his mother. Even if she never found the right way to show it, Younghoon knew she loved him as much as a mother could love a son.

That's why she stayed. Not why she stayed with her husband, but why she stayed alive after Youngsik died. She kept fighting so she could see Younghoon grow up.

Younghoon asked her if she approved of him and Chanhee and the woman only smiled and said, "You're my son. Of course I approve."

Before summer could come to an end, Younghoon saw his father for the last time. They met in a diner. Younghoon refused to talk to him unless it was in public. He was done being afraid.

He told his father he wasn't going to come back home and that he didn't want any sort of relationship with him. The man begrudgingly accepted, agreeing to be peaceful with his son as long as he never asked for money. Younghoon had no problem agreeing to those terms.

There was one week of summer left before Younghoon and Chanhee left for college. They promised not to tell each other what college they were accepting until after they had done so. That way, their decisions would be based on their own instincts, not where the other was going.

They picked different colleges. Two hours apart. It just seemed as if that was the way the world worked, never in anybody's favor.

Chanhee and Younghoon had spent almost every day of summer together. They both knew their time together was dwindling, yet neither of them wanted to acknowledge it.

"I signed up for all of my classes today," Younghoon spoke, breaking the silence that had crept into Chanhee's car as he drove nowhere in particular, "I'm officially in the nursing program."

A grin spread across Chanhee's face, his eyes still fixed on the road in front of him. "Do you know how proud I am of you, Younghoon? You did it—you're doing what you want to do."

"I know it's going to be hard. I might need a math tutor for real this time."

"You have to promise me you won't accept help from any cute boys that sit next to you in class."

"If I recall correctly I tried not to let you help me in class...many times. And now I'm sitting in your car."

Pulling into an empty parking lot in front of hiking trail, Chanhee looked over at the elder and smiled. "What if you were in the backseat instead?" He asked.

Younghoon looked at him in disbelief before muttering, "You planned this, didn't you?"

A soft giggle slipped past Chanhee's lips as he nodded excitedly. "Of course I planned this, Younghoon," he spoke.

✨✨✨

Chanhee's head rested on Younghoon's bare chest while he listened to the elder's rhythmic breathing. The car was completely silent except for the quiet hum of the radio. Chanhee reached a hand to touch the cool glass of the windows, a thin fog still coating the interior.

He let let his fingers glide across the surface, writing the letters CCH + KYH in the condensation.

Hearing the quiet squeaking of his fingertips against the glass, Younghoon lifted his head to see what the younger was doing. A small smile rest on his lips as looked over each letter. "Isn't that too cheesy for you?"

"No," Chanhee whispered before laying his head back down, "I think it's just right."

"I want to stay here forever."

Chanhee hummed in agreement and mumbled, "we leave so soon."

"That's something I don't like to think about."

"I wish we could stay this way forever too, just me and you alone in the world," he looked up at the letters he traced onto the window and read aloud, "Choi Chanhee and Kim Younghoon."

"We could run away," Younghoon pondered out loud, "and start a little shop. I wouldn't mind being poor. We could take in stray cats."

"I'd miss my parents too much," Chanhee admitted softly.

"Yeah...I'd miss them too."

———
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