aversion | bbangnyu

16

Kevin and Younghoon had known each other since elementary school. They weren't best friends like him and Juyeon were...but they were still pretty close.

But when Younghoon asked Kevin if he could come over after school to talk about something, he knew there was something not quite right. Younghoon wasn't a bad friend, but he just didn't enjoy late nights or even hanging out as much as the other boys did.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Kevin asked as the two walked into his bedroom.

Younghoon set his backpack down gently on the floor next to the desk before walking over to sit on the edge of Kevin's bed. "It might seem a little weird..." he admitted.

"It can't be any weirder than the shit Juyeon says when he's drunk."

"That is very true." After taking a few seconds to gather the words he wanted to say, Younghoon finally asked, "You're in a relationship, right?"

"Yeah..." Kevin said skeptically as he sat down next to the elder, "For a year and a half now."

Younghoon's eyebrows furrowed together before he muttered, "you really don't talk about it at all."

"It never really comes up..."

Not thinking much of it, he continued, "this is...hard for me to ask—but how did you know...you liked her?"

Kevin had to bite back a laugh at the fact his friends still thought he could ever be in a relationship with a woman. But the amount of sincerity Younghoon used made it impossible to do so. "For me...I noticed that everything was about them. Even if it had nothing to with h...er there would be something that reminded me of them," Kevin explain.

A small hum came out of Younghoon as he carefully thought about the boy's words. "Do you think...always wanting to talk to somebody means anything?"

"I think that one could either be about just a friend or liking somebody. I guess it depends on how you feel when you talk to them."

"What about getting super nervous when you're alone for no reason?"

Kevin laughed at the boy's words, "if you're nervous around somebody than one hundred percent you like them."

Younghoon's eyes widened as he stared down at the carpeted floor. "Oh my gosh I like...somebody," he whispered, catching himself before he could say the name.

"Can ask you a question?" Kevin asked hesitantly.

"Sure..."

"You have to promise you won't get mad at me if I'm not right."

"Ok—fine I won't get mad."

With a dramatic exhale, Kevin mentally prepared himself for what was about to leave his mouth. "Is it maybe...Chanhee?"

"What?"

Waving his hands in front of his face, Kevin quickly stammered, "Ok listen—I've just seen how you talk in class...and you just look at him so much differently than everybody else. Plus I saw you two leaving school together yesterday."

A sigh slipped past Younghoon's lips, "I think it is Chanhee," he admitted.

"I knew it!"

"Please don't tell anybody else—I'm kinda figuring things out," Younghoon asked gently.

Kevin quickly nodded, "Oh no problem." There were a few seconds of silence between the two before he grew a bit curious, "Are you...gay?"

"I don't think so? I just don't think I really have a preference."

A small hum came out of the younger boy as he contemplated telling Younghoon a secret of his own. Deciding it was safe enough, Kevin opened the drawer to his nightstand and pulled out a photo. "This is Jacob—he's my boyfriend," he said as he handed the photo of him and Jacob to the elder, "We met at a tournament last year."

Younghoon smiled at the fact he wasn't completely alone in this. "How have you managed to hide dating a guy for over a year?"

"I haven't had to hide it completely, my parents know...but I didn't want to make the team uncomfortable y'know because we still had to play together."

The elder hummed, "I'm sorry for that—it's not right that you feel like you have to hide something so important."

"I'm just glad I was able to tell somebody before I graduated." 

✨✨✨

"Where were you?"

Younghoon stopped in front of the dinner table where his parents were just finishing their meal and looked at his father. "I went to a friend's house."

"Did you practice after school? I have a feeling you're undermining my authority," the man spoke.

Feeling his throat tighten, Younghoon suddenly felt the oxygen in his lungs diminishing. "I...I didn't today, sir. I just thought I could take one day off."

A sarcastic laugh came out of his father, "A day off? What have you done to earn a day of? Tell me!"

"I've practiced everyday for the past five years of my life—that's what I've done."

Standing up so quickly, Younghoon's father sent the chair behind him flying onto the tile floor. He walked up to Younghoon and grabbed the boy by the collar, "You will not talk to me with such disrespect! You've done nothing but screw around your whole life!"

"Honey—" Younghoon's mother choked out as she stood up, worried that her husband would do something he couldn't take back, "he's a child!"

As he let go of Younghoon's wrinkled collar, the man shoved him to the ground. "You stay out of this!" He screamed at the woman, "he's useless because of how you baby him!"

"Look at him!" The woman wailed as he pointed to her son. Younghoon still sat discarded on the floor, tears racing down his cheeks as he stared off in the distance. "That is your son!"

"I'd be better off if he wasn't!" He hissed before storming out of the dining room. 

———

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