aversion | bbangnyu

51

"Mom," Younghoon whispered as he peaked his head into his parents bedroom, letting out a sigh of relief when he didn't see his father.

"What, sweetie, are you alright?" The woman asked softly from where she was rummaging through her dresser. She quickly closed the drawer and walked over to the boy as if she was hiding something.

Younghoon hesitated to speak, the words stuck in his throat. "Can I...use some of your makeup?" He asked quietly.

Raising an eyebrow at her son's words, the woman tried not to look too shocked before stuttering out a small, "Uh—sure." As they walked out of her bedroom and into the bathroom, she finally saw Younghoon's face under the bright lights. "Honey..." she whispered, staring at the side of the boy's face that was painted a horrible reddish purple.

"Yeah...I want to cover it up before school. It's just easier that way," Younghoon explained like he wasn't even phased by what happened the night before.

"Younghoon, I'm so sorry," she spoke as she rummaged through her makeup bag, finding her concealer and foundation, hoping the two would be able to cover the bruise, "I should've come downstairs the second I heard you come through that door last night. If I was there he wouldn't have...hurt you."

"I know it's not just me, mom," Younghoon said bluntly, "I know he hits you too. For god sakes that's why Youngsik killed himself—I know it's not just me—"

"Do not—," the woman started harshly, quickly stopping so she could correct her tone, "Do not talk about your brother like that. He was going through a lot."

Younghoon tried his hardest not to wince when he felt the pressure of his mother's fingers on his jaw. "Did you mean it last night? Are you going to get a divorce?"

Letting out a small hum, the woman focused on creating an even skin tone and muttered, "I'm not doing anything until you go off to college. I can't leave you here alone with him. I realized what you said was right, Younghoon, I'm not a mother to you. And I...I wasn't a mother to Youngsik either...and maybe if I was he would still be alive."

"You don't have it any easier than I do—or my brother did. Of course I've always wished for more from you...but I understand, mom, I don't resent you for it. Not anymore."

His mother teared up as she listened to her son speak. "You're my strength, Younghoon, if I didn't have you—I don't know what I'd do."

"I don't want to play basketball—" Younghoon spewed. A breath falling from his lips as a weight was lifted from his shoulder, "the last thing I want to do in college is play basketball—I can't." 

"Listen to me, your father's money is worthless. Once you get out of here, don't look back. Build a life for yourself...away from all of this, that's all I want for you."

"Where will you go if I leave?"

"I'll go live with my parents," the woman spoke softly, a warm smile forming on her lips, "I can finally get a job and I can take care of them as they get old."

Younghoon looked at his face in the mirror, the night before now completely hidden. "Will you promise me you'll go through with it? Promise me you'll leave him."

"As long as you promise to live your life how you want."

He smiled at his mother and nodded, feeling as if for the first time in his life she finally saw him. "I promise."

"I love you, Younghoon, I hope you know that I do."

"I love you too," the boy said quietly, jumping off the counter when he heard his father office door open, "I have to go."

"It's okay..." she said warmly, reaching out to run her fingers through the boy's soft hair and watching as his eyes darted around the room, "everything's going to be okay."

Younghoon looked at the woman through tear filled eyes and nodded, wishing his five year old self could've heard those words at least once. He let his mother pull him into her arms, tears slipping down his cheeks as she rubbed his back.

✨✨✨

After school, Younghoon asked Chanhee to take him to the park he liked to go to when he had a lot of homework. So of course, Chanhee did exactly that and drove to the small park only ten minutes from their school. The didn't leave the car, they didn't talk, the two really didn't do much of anything. Younghoon only stared out the window, something preoccupying his mind since that morning.

"Do you need to talk about something?" Chanhee asked softly as he looked over at his boyfriend, wondering why the boy was suddenly so silent.

"I'm in love with you, Choi Chanhee, I love you," Younghoon blurted out, "I don't know if this is too soon—I really don't know anything anymore. All I know is that you make me happy, Chanhee, you make me feel like everything is going to be okay when my whole life I just always assumed it wasn't going to be."

Chanhee send the boy a soft smile and tried to hide the emotion rushing to his eyes at his boyfriend's sweet words. "You've been so quiet all day...I really didn't expect that would be one of the first things you say to me."

"I'm sorry..." Younghoon whispered, turning to look down at his lap.

"Don't apologize to me, Younghoon," Chanhee told the elder as he placed a hand on the back of his head, pulling the boy towards him. "You make me so happy..." he whispered before pressing his lips against Younghoon's. Their lips moved against each other's softly, Chanhee trying to say what seemed to be stuck in his throat. I love you too, Younghoon, so much.

———
I'm not sure if I ever mentioned this but there's 63 chapters for this book

Thanks for reading <333