NEVER NOT • H.RENJUN

29

| chapter twenty-nine |
it has to be you..
« i'm trying to be brave,
stop asking me to stay »

It had been three days since Renjun lost consciousness. Although exhaust and distress were written all over her face, Hyewon hadn't left his side for even a second.

She missed his warm touch, his brown eyes, his smile. Without him, she felt like her soul slowly faded away as every hour passed by and he didn't wake up.

The demon held his limp hand in hers and pressed her cheek against it. "Renjun.." Her bottom lip quivered as she muttered his name. "Wake up..please." Yet, no matter how much she begged over the past three days, he remained the same.

A few minutes later, the door to the room opened. Hyewon didn't bother to check who it was, her eyes remained glued to Renjun's face. "Archangel Lee is here." It was Jeno, he walked in and another pair of footsteps followed suit.

The Angel and Archangel looked at each other. Pity was clear in their eyes. They both were aware that Hyewon's time on Earth was limited and yet the days were passing by and Renjun wouldn't wake up. They just hoped he'd wake up before she was really gone.

"I know why this happened to him," The Archangel spoke up first. Hyewon lifted her head to let him know that she was listening. "Renjun was locked out of Heaven. Because of this, he lost all his strengths. Anything that an angel has and is capable of..he doesn't possess anymore. Basically, he isn't an angel and right now, his body is weak because he isn't used to the normal human body that he was put in."

Hyewon finally turned around and looked at the two. "But I went there and I talked to Him. He said Renjun would be exempt from punishment if I left," She ran a frustrated hand through her dark locks of hair.

"The Deity is strict and Renjun committed a sin, multiple actually," He told her. "He might be exempt from eternal punishment but for as long as you're still here, this is his punishment."

Hyewon shook her head, angry with herself, "I should have just left without him knowing." She looked at Renjun and then at the floor. "I just keep on hurting him. It is all I've ever done for him.."

"An Angel will receive punishment no matter what," Jeno placed his hand on the demon's shoulder. "You've already reduced the severity of normal punishment. Doing that–giving your life up for him–is more than enough."

Hyewon looked into Jeno's sincere eyes and then at the Archangel. "When I'm gone.." She paused and exhaled a shaky breath. "I need you guys to stop him from doing anything stupid–anything that puts him in danger. It has happened twice already and I was there to protect him but that will no longer be possible."

The white-winged men nodded their heads and gave her a tight-lipped smile. She smiled back and muttered a quick thank you before turning back to Renjun.

Instead of laying on his back as he was a couple minutes back, he was sitting up and staring at Hyewon blankly.

"Renjun," She breathed out his name, feeling a weight off her shoulders at the sight of his consciousness. She rushed closer to him, holding his hand and cupping his face.

"Are you okay? How are you feeling?"

His stare remained the same, blank, cold, nothing like him. Hyewon furrowed her brows.

"Renjun? What's wrong?" She held his face, softly caressing the apple of his cheek.

"I would've resented you," The Angel's voice was raspy and low as he spoke. He mustered his strongest tone of voice yet Hyewon noticed how tremulous his voice really was. "Had you disappeared without letting me know, I would have spent the rest of my life resenting you."

"Renjun." She reached for his hand but he brushed it off as he stood up. He looked at Hyewon and let out a loud sigh.

"Did you expect me to be okay with you leaving? Did you expect me to be grateful that you sacrificed yourself in my stead?" Renjun looked into her eyes.

Hyewon bit down on her bottom lip before shrugging her shoulders. "My life isn't worth as much as yours, Renjun. I would much rather give myself up than ever lose you. If one of us has to live, it should be you," Hyewon reached for his hand again and he didn't brush her away this time. "You've never had a life. Jun, I've seen how you look at the Humans and how you talk about them. And I can see it in your eyes that you really want to live a normal life like them..I don't want to take that possibility away from you. I really want you to have that life."

Renjun lowered his head to hide the tears that streamed down his face. The demon took one step closer to him and brought him to her embrace. He instantly sank his face into her neck and wrapped his arms around her waist as if asking her to never let go.

"You deserve to live," Hyewon muttered. "Please, let it be me that leaves."

"I don't want to live a life without you," The Angel refused. "I don't think I can."

Hyewon put her bravest face on and pulled back to look at his face. She smiled sadly and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

"I know you can. You must," The demon said. "Live a happy, healthy, and normal life. Fall in love again and date. Do everything you've ever wanted to do," She paused, rubbing her thumb up and down on his palm to not only comfort him, but herself as well.

Holding him reminded her that someone so ethereal existed in her life, someone that loved and cared for her as she had always wished even though she didn't feel deserving of such a love.

"Do it for me. If I leave knowing that you will be safe, I will be more than happy. So live, Renjun. You need to live."

😪