Whisper of Her Lies (Nayon Series 2)

Kabanata 26

Kabanata 26
Galit

It is never a bed of roses, I realized. Life with sorrows is inevitable. There will always be the brokenness of a perfect feeling. A blurry memories, a subsiding emotions, and a long lasting excruciating pain.

I guess there is my sail forever sailing in the sea of surprises. A vast ocean of despair and crying. And sadly, there is seems to be no shore to be docked on. It feels like it will be an endless sailing in a storm.

Hindi ko na alam kung paano ko pa maiiiyak ang lahat ng sakit dulot ng pagkawala ni Heidi. I wanted to breakdown but for a lonely and hopeless situation like this, people around me became dependent on me. Si Sidon, si Miquesa, ang anak niya, at higit sa lahat... ang anak ko.

There are times when I needed to be alone to let the tears flow. Umaalis ako at sa tahimik at tagong parte ng Altaguirre palihim na umiiyak. Sa sulok kung saan malaya akong manghina at magdamdam. At pagkatapos ng lahat ng panghihinang 'yon, kailangan ko ulit maging matatag.

I saw how my daughter tried to compose herself whenever I see her. I deeply know how those tears try to freely fall from her eyes when the pain is never bearable. Kaya kahit pa durog na durog na ako dahil sa matinding sakit at pagod, hindi ko magawang manghina.

Pagkatapos ng libing, parang mas naging mahirap para kay Sidon na magpatuloy. I understand his sorrow. I may not know how painful it is to lose your child and the girl you love in a snap, all at once, but I do know how much it hurts to lose someone. Nawalan din ako ng mabuting kaibigan kaya alam ko. Alam na alam ko.

I feel so sorry for him. He never had the chance to see their child. He lost the only chance to live a life together with his desired family... the life with Heidi.

If I felt like giving up at the threat of losing my child years ago, completely letting go of his family may be so deteriorating for Sidon. Kung ako ang nasa sitwasyon niya, baka nabaliw na ako. O baka tuluyan nang sumuko.

Ang lungkot lungkot ng paligid. Mahina ang pagaspas ng hangin sa buong Altaguirre na animo'y nakikiluksa sa aming tatlo. It feels so sad sitting here on this familiar spot only to see two familiar faces. I just lost one.

"Baka lumipat na kami ni Mika sa puder ni Greyson," si Mique sa mahinang beses.

It was so sad. It was forlorn. Heidi's death means parting for us. Ayaw ko sanang iwan si Sidon dahil kahit hindi niya man sabihin, nangangapa pa rin siya. Naghahanap ng tulong para makaahon sa sakit.

But this is what supposed to happen. Miquesa is bound to leave after their wedding. Kaya lang, napaaga ng kaonti.

"Hindi ko alam kung saan ako uuwi pagkatapos ng lahat," tulalang sabi ni Sidon.

Bago ang libing, nasabi na ni Sidon sa akin ang lahat. Heidi died while doing her last mission for that agency. I have known her job when we were still in college. She works for this agency as an agent with confidential missions. Isa siya sa mga pinakamagaling sa larangan. I don't know why Heidi seems to be great in combats and death looks like her game. Sa pagpasok niya pa lang sa trabaho, alam ko na na nakikipaglaro siya sa kamatayan. And now, death caught her in her own field of expertise.

I had been so busy with my daughter and forgot to have deep talks with Heidi. Nasa iisang bubong man, nakalimutan ko pa rin na kumustahin siya. She was also busy tending our needs. Kaming apat sa iisang bahay at may dalawang bata pa. The bar of needs is high even if everyone has contributions. We were busy minding our own lives that checking everyone was disregarded.

Hindi ko alam ang mga plano niya. Ang sabi ni Sidon, aalis na sana si Heidi sa trabaho. Before the year ends, Heidi was supposed to be out of their missions. Considering that she is pregnant, the agency allowed her to retire. Pero dahil kailangan nila si Heidi para sa isang malaking trabaho, pinagbigyan na ang kaibigan ko na kunin iyon bilang huling sabak niya sa kinalakihang tungkulin.