The Assistant AvengersxOc

7-perfect

I breathed in smiling as I typed on my laptop. I had to make sure everything would go perfectly this morning.

But I was finding it harder this morning. My clothes felt tight and I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry.

But I kept the feeling at bay as I turned around and greeted everyone."Good morning everyone Mr. Stark-Tony your meeting is in two minutes."

I say feeling my finger tap in a tune realizing my mistake. Tony nodded. But I noticed his look.

He noticed. Shit. If he noticed the trained assassins in the room definitely did. I needed to get myself together.

"To other news, no new missions have shown for today so I will be in the tower for any assistance or in my office."

At that, I picked up my laptop. Though before I could leave Peter looked at me with his award-winning smile.

I knew I was screwed."So Honey do you still paint." I put my hands uniformly at my sides. Then I gave him a gentle smile.

I was always good at those."Of course, though I prefer to simply sketch now." I almost..flinched at myself.

Sometimes I felt inhuman and I scared myself. Though after you act like someone else for so long you begin to do it to perfection.

So perfectly that person loses the human nature of it all. Peter seemed to look like he was thinking before putting his hands on the counter.

"Well, I want you to paint with me." I felt my body grow stiff. Knowing I could not say no."Of course Peter I will clear my schedule for this morning."

It almost hurt to say those words. But I couldn't go back now. After all, I dug this grave and I will be the one writing my headstone.

Peter looked surprised but then grinned."Great I'll see you after breakfast meet me on the roof."

I simply nod and leave. Though as soon as I get in the elevator I felt my breath quicken. I gripped my chest.

Closing my eyes I remember his words.

"None of your soulmates will believe you to be anything but a filthy whore. Because that is what you are."

"What kind of mate would want used goods? What are you nothing."

I am nothing. They will never want me. So why am I here? Having a panic attack in an elevator.

I thought as I felt my vision go blurry. I had passed this stage. I knew better. But for some reason this time is different.

I couldn't control it. I couldn't just shove it deep down. Maybe my mind was wearing. But I knew better.

I say that to myself a lot. I know better. I knew better...but sometimes I believe I don't. My eyes water.

God, why was it always me? I couldn't do one thing right. But it was never in my nature. I was always a screw-up.

So I had to breathe in and wipe my tears. Crying would not help the undeniable. I was nothing. I was useless.

I.Was.Used.Goods.