The Assistant AvengersxOc

29-Sick of coming Back

Or that's what I wished happened.The room was silent as I smiled."Well there is nothing more to say on Peters behalf lets get on with the meeting."

I felt my eyes sting.
-
Maybe it wasn't the best descion to talk to her. Usually I'll ignore her until she leaves but she wouldn't stop talking.

I was still angry. So angry. "Why do you think you'll ever have a chance with him honey."
No I wasn't angry about that.

Tony was a piece of shit. Traumatised or not. He had drinking problems and anger issues. Never really saw value in people.

Well beyond what they could give him. Though a part of me knew he was trying to be better.

Even I had seen his progress. Bad or worse I don't know. Though sometimes id remember the panic attacks i'd helped him through.

The nights I convinced him to sober up. All those memories hit me as Pepper yelled at me.

"Pepper shut up." I mutter my eyes watering.She gasped."How-" I took a deep breath.

"Shut.Up." She stops for a second. Walking past her I put my hand on the elevator pad. Getting in the elevator I watched the doors close.

I picked him up off the floor put him to bed. Cleaned up the expensive bottles of wine and liquor spread around his lab.

He's even attacked me before. But I never held it against him. I kept him together. I was there the night pepper was attacked by the robots.

She left leaving him to destroy what was around him. I picked up the pieces. Fuck he always got to me.

The doors opened and I found him sitting on the floor of his office hands shaking as he tried to control his breathing.

I was so pissed at him...but I wasn't a monster. Walking over I get on my knees in front of him.

Having done this a million times before I took his hands in mine. Making sure they were flat so he could feel that I was real.

"Im sorry." He muttered face now buried in my collar bone. I was quiet."I was an insensitive prick to you and you don't deserve it I don't deserve you."

Breathing I sighed my hands now intertwined with his."Did you ever really wonder why I never told you?"

I said my back against the large glass window behind me.He looked up at me. Though before he could speak I did.

My thumb gently massaging his hand."I knew ever since I interviewed with you. I was going to tell you but it took a month to take it back."

I say looking at his eyes he seemed to be focused on every word that fell from my lips.

"It was torture having to clean up after your nightly escapades Tony. It wore me down. I was insecure and as the years piled on I didn't think I would ever be good enough for you or any of the others."

His eyes filled with a look I had never seen before. Something a mix of despration and...shame.