Happy Endings || Andy Biersack

29. You'll Always Be My Little Girl

The discordant sound of Camilla's loud cries floated through the baby monitor, though the decibel at which the screams filled the hallway made it almost unnecessary. I moved to throw the covers off me, but Andy was already standing up, running a hand through his dark hair.

"Lay back down, babe, I'll get her," I said to Andy. He'd woken up with her every time for the past week. I knew he wanted to do it and he cherished every moment, but I couldn't help feeling like it was wearing him out. Andy's eyes looked tired all the time lately and I felt spoiled by all the sleep I was getting.

"No, I want to," Andy insisted. "I'm going to be gone soon and I just want to spend as much time with her as I can."

I nodded quietly, hoping he could see it in the moonlit room. His bare feet padded out of the master bedroom and down the hall to our little girl's room. I stared at the ceiling for a moment, hearing Andy flicking on the light in Camilla's room and the rustling as he lifted her from her crib. The house was so quiet that every movement echoed in the space. Feeling entirely unhelpful, I slid out of bed with a sigh. I pulled my hair, which I'd dyed back to it's natural honey blond color, into a clip. 

I walked into the nursery quietly, standing in the doorway as I stared into the room. Andy was sitting in the rocking chair with Milla in his arms. The pale pink of the walls surrounded him and the white furniture completed the girly haven. It was a picture perfect scene. I loved how our tiny daughter looked in his strong arms.

Andy looked down at Camilla like she was made of gold, the most valuable thing he'd ever seen. Everything about the ways his eyes were glued to her tiny figure showed the love he held for his daughter. She suckled on the bottle, blinking up at her dad with the bright blue eyes she'd inherited.

I thought back to the day she'd been born and how Andy and I had been unable to think of a name. We'd come prepared with a list of our top five and would decide when we saw her. However, as soon as she was born, our list was forgotten and the name Camilla had simply slipped from my tongue.

It just fit her, everything about her seemed to scream the French name. When she was born she was only 6 pounds and 2 ounces, a small 17 inches. There was a fragility to her bone structure and her skin was a pale ivory, traits she still had today. Her hair was Andy's naturally pale blond, unlike mine and Jax's which was a more warm caramel blond. Camilla's eyes were her dad's, a light blue that blinked eagerly. Camilla had my bone structure and eye and nose shape, but color-wise, she'd adopted her dad's light German features.

When Jax had held her for the first time, Andy carefully helping him hold her head up, it had been the sweetest thing I'd ever seen. He looked down at his sister, entranced but also frightened, so scared of dropping her. 

"Do we get to keep her?" Jax had asked unsurely.

I had laughed, despite my exhaustion. "Yeah, baby, we're gonna keep her."

I was content watching from a distance until I noticed a glassy tear trail down Andy's cheek. It was solitary and silent, followed by one and two more. He wasn't sobbing or anything, but tears slowly rolled down his features. I hesitated momentarily before walking into the room and making my presence known.

Andy looked up at me, wiping at the slow falling tears.

"Are you okay, babe?" I asked.

"I'm fine," Andy mumbled. "I just... I hate that I'm going to have to leave her someday soon. I love her so much. Fuck, I'm acting like such a pussy. I'm just happy. I just... with her and Jax, I just feel like everything is complete and I don't want to miss anything, you know?"

I nodded, wrapping my arms around his neck loosely and kissing his cheek. "You won't. You're a great dad."

"I hope she and Jax feel the same way."

I smiled, looking down as her sapphire irises stared up at Andy and I. "She's so beautiful."

"I know. God, I'm probably going to need to get a shotgun to keep all these guys away from her," Andy smiledd.

"What would you do if she came home with some punk kid with long black hair and tattoos?" I smirked, thinking back to when I'd done the same thing. I thought back to the red-faced expression my dad had and Andy's nerves. I remembered the way I'd been so in love with him, before I even really knew I was, that I'd give up everything I had to be with him. I still would.

"I'd give him ten seconds to get out of my house before I decked him."

"You wouldn't want her to fall in love like we did?" I laughed.

"Fuck no, I'm an asshole. She'd deserve much better."

"There's no better than a guy like you. I promise."

"Hmm," Andy hummed, smiling slightly. I looked down to see Camilla's eyes had closed and her breathing was a steady rhythm. Andy stood carefully, placing her slowly in her crib. 

His blue eyes met mine as he turned back around. Flicking the light off in Camilla's room, he laced his fingers with mine and pulled me out into the hall. He peeked into Jax's dim room, seeing a sleeping dog and toddler.

"You're going to have to be quiet," Andy said simply as he pulled me into our bedroom.

I bit down on my lip. "I think I can do that."

My body cried out for his touch. The constant drama in our lives of balancing our kids, our friends, Andy's touring, and my producing took its toll. It was a juggling act and moments where we could just relax content with one another were few and far between.

Andy pushed me back onto the bed, only breaking the kiss to pull my shirt over my head. His lips trailed down my face and onto my neck, sucking at the exposed skin before moving down. His lips ghosted over the black fabric of my bra and down to my stomach. Andy placed kisses down the flat plane, stopping at the scar left from the C-section.

"You're beautiful," he mumbled against my skin.

"Shut up," I blushed.

"It's true. You're as beautiful as you were when I met you almost six years ago. Everything about you amazes me."

I sighed, love coursing through me so violently, I shivered.

Time had passed; we'd gone from 18 and 21 to 23 and 26. There'd been road bumps and obstacles, but we'd made it. As Andy had always said, we were bulletproof.

Short chapter, but I've almost written the next one so it should be up pretty quickly. Bryan Stars' BVB #6 is out, so if you haven't seen it, go do that! It was the most hilarious one yet. If you follow me on Twitter, you probably saw my numerous tweets about how I was choking and flailing and making inhuman noises. And Andy kept being just so adorable and cute and just being Andy and I literally fell on the floor and fucking died. Also, I saw Silverstein, Issues, Like Moths To Flames, and some other bands last night. It was awesome and I got to meet Michael Bohn. Ok. He is fucking adorbs in person. o h m y g o d.