Happy Endings || Andy Biersack

19. The Moral This Time Is Girls Make Boys Cry

I pushed a strand of my black hair out of my face as I pulled the hot tray out of the oven. The golden brown cookies filled the house with a pleasant aroma and I kind of felt like a real mom. Isn't this what moms did? Slaved in the kitchen over perfect cookies and made the house look spotless?

Andy was coming home tomorrow and I was making sure everything was perfect. I felt that overwhelming excitement I had every time I knew Andy was on his way home. It was like a breath of relief had swept over me and was filling my mind with a gentle "finally." It had only been a two month tour, but it felt unbelievably long. It was like I hadn't seen Andy in years.

I couldn't wait to see the smile on Jax's face when his dad picked him up and held him close. I could already feel Andy's lips on mine, pressing me against the wall. It felt so close that it was almost painful. Every hour until tomorrow at six in the evening felt like torture. I was filled with anxiety and nervous excitement. I wanted to do everything - clean this, bake that, fix this, break that. It was kind of ridiculous how much I was filled with childish excitement.

Along with my happiness over Andy coming home, Jinxx had finally asked Sammi if he could move back in. I'd never heard my friend happier. Her smile was so wide, it looked painful. They'd spent the past few months going back to their foundation, rebuilding their relationship. They'd Skype date and talk on the phone for hours. It had been awkward at first, but once they'd gotten past the issue that had torn them apart, it was just a matter of them rebuilding their trust in one another.

I was glad my friends were back together and happy. It also relieved a lot of guilt off of me. Even though I knew it wasn't my fault, I had felt partially responsible for spilling Sammi's secret in the first place. 

Regardless, whose fault it was wasn't important. Everything was resolved once more and I was relieved to no end. I could only hope it stayed that way. Andy and I were happily married with our little boy, Jax. Sammi and Jinxx were married and totally in love. And, Jake and Ella's marriage was only a few months away. CC even seemed to be settling down a bit more than usual, not partying or sleeping with random girls as much. I was beginning to suspect that he'd have something to share with us when he got back from tour.

I finished off the cookie just as the doorbell rang. I followed Hades' loud barks to the front door. Jax was taking a nap so I hoped the noise wouldn't wake him up.

Opening the door, I was greeted to the sight of Matt, my favorite ginger. He looked nervous and apprehensive. I wasn't quite sure why.

"Hey," I grinned, pulling him into a hug. He responded timidly, wrapping his arms around me and muttering his own greeting.

"Come here," I prompted, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the kitchen. "I made chocolate chip cookies. Try one."

I handed him one of the treats and he smiled at me, taking a bite. After chewing it for a few moments, he grinned, "This is really amazing."

"Oh, yay! I thought it tasted good, but I'm glad you like it."

"Where's Jaxson?"

"He just went down for his nap. We spent the day playing at that kid gym place nearby. Jax just started crawling so he was all over those ramps and slides. It was adorable."

"That's awesome. I bet he had fun." 

I nodded. "Not that I don't love seeing you, but did you have a reason for coming over?"

Matt bit his lip for a moment, staring down at the floor nervously. Finally he looked up, taking a deep breath. "Can we sit down?" he asked.

I was surprised by his abrupt attitude and the seriousness of his tone. Eyeing him warily, I walked with him into the living room. Settling onto the couch, I stared at him. Matt wrung his hands together, as if trying to piece together how to vocalize his thoughts.

"Listen, Hailey, I've grown really close to you over the past few months. You're a great friend. Over the past few months though, things have felt different. And, I just... I feel more than friendship for you."

I felt my eyes widen as suddenly his lips were on mine. It took my mind a moment to recognize that he was kissing me. As his tongue slipped into my mouth, I felt myself sigh into the kiss. I had no idea why I didn't push him away, but regardless, I didn't. I let his lips mold to mine and allowed our tongues to collide. I hadn't felt like this, so close and intimate to anyone since Andy left. And, I knew it was wrong. I could feel guilt and shame churning in my stomach, but I kept kissing Matt. Andy wasn't here and as wrong as the kiss was, it felt so fucking right. His lips were warm and they caressed mine with such affection and gentleness, it made me want to melt. Shivers tingled up and down my spine and I moved my hands into his red hair.

I felt like a whore, but I couldn't stop. I didn't want to stop. I'd been so alone and Matt was finally showing me the love I've been missing from Andy. Suddenly, sense snapped back into me and I pushed Matt away.

"We can't do this," I stated hastily, wiping his taste from my lips.

Matt pouted inadvertently. "Andy doesn't have to know."

"It doesn't matter. He's still my husband. We have a kid together. You and I, we're just friends."

"This hasn't been just friends for a while, Hailey, and you know that. Me hanging out here all the time, catering to you and helping with Jax, that isn't what someone who's just your friend does."

"So, what? You were just being all helpful to get in my pants or something?" I asked incredulously.

"No," Matt sighed. "I just... I thought you liked me back. You're the first person who actually makes me feel okay since Elizabeth. I feel like I can be myself around you and you won't hurt me."

"And, I'm glad that you feel that way," I replied, "but it can only be as friends."

"Tell me this feels like friends."

Before I could stop him, Matt's lips were once again on mine. I couldn't deny I liked the sensation. His lips were slightly chapped and warm and gentle. They reminded me of Andy's. Matt moved his mouth against mine slowly, drawing as much passion and affection into the kiss as he could. His tongue slipped into my mouth and I made no move to stop it. I moved with his mouth, following the sensations of his tongue. He tasted like chocolate chip cookies, just sweet and induglent, like his personality.

His hands were in my hair and trailing beneath my shirt. I tangled mine in his short locks and wrapped my other hand around his neck. I should have stopped him, but I didn't. I'd gone so long without any sort of physical affection and God, this was nice. I knew I was just doing this because I missed Andy's touch. It wasn't fair to Matt or Andy, but I couldn't stop myself. As bad as this was, I wanted this. I wanted to feel wanted. Andy could talk to me all he wanted through the computer screen, but it wasn't anything compared to the feeling of him directly in front of me. I was attempting to rationalize my behavior, I knew that, but it didn't stop me. I was moving solely through lust, the feelings blocking out the part of my common sense that knew this was wrong, the part that would remind me that I loved Andy more than I could ever love Matt.

Matt pushed forward, pressing my body into a lying position on the couch. He hovered over me, using his arm as leverage. His kiss had turned hot and greedy; however, somehow still filled with a softness. I was so lost in the feelings Matt evoked that I didn't hear a key slide into the lock or the sound of a bag falling to the floor in the entryway.

The only thing that broke me from Matt's embrace was a distinct "What the fuck?" from a voice I knew all too well.