Hidden Overblot (Twisted Wonderland Fanfic) completed

Depression

Tsunotarou was true to his word. I was not allowed out of his sight. Even when he had his Duties I was to stay close. It was painfully boring While he was doing his Duties, Luckily my Ankle was finally fixed otherwise I would have to spend the whole time in his arms. I much rather be walking around. I did not have to hold his hand through the whole time we walked around. I did however have to be with in his sight at all times.

There was at one point I turned a corner without him and I heard a Deep Growl telling me I had to come back. I had to hold his hand the rest of the day after that. Noche however stayed by our side no mater where we went. If it was Dinner time he was in the room eating with us. If we were out on a walk. Noche was in the trees doing surveillance. If we were Tending to Malleus Duties He was standing right behind us. He had gotten quieter sense The incident. I missed the talks we used to have. I wanted us to go back to how it used to be. But that was unrealistic. 

Grandmother had all gotten more protective as well. We were to have a guard with us at all times. This Guard was Noche, Lilia was after all Grandmother's Guard. Thought He did tend to us while at NRC. I don't think Noche took a single day off. I had asked Tsunotarou about this and he stated It was part of Noche's punishment for failing to protect me. And damn did that not make me feel worse for getting taken. 

If I had just stayed with Noche and been good. If I had just acted like a fucking adult I used to be! None of this would have happened. I stopped trying to play. I stayed quiet while with Tsunotarou. I wasn't to be bad. I was 22 fucking years old! I needed to act like it. I watched alot of our groups light leave. It caused my heart to Clench that I had caused this. This is why I should have never been found out. They should have just let my blot and Destroy the monster once I was gone. It would have been easier.

Things while almost back to Normal just weren't the same. We had family Game night. We talked as if all was fine. But there was a void that no one wanted to touch. And that Void was suffocating. I would have spirals where I would almost get lost in my head. The worst came five days after my return. I had started to cough. Tsunotarou immediately took me to a healer. The healer stated I was emotionally exhausted and it was best I not attempt any magic. This was fine. I did not use much magic anymore anyway. 

I found my self sleeping alot after that. Tsunotarou would hold me during the day. I would eat, Sleep, Eat, Sleep. I knew I was worrying everyone. after about two days of doing this I pretended to get better. I would pretend I was more awake then ever. It was almost like I was back at Ramshackle again. Pretending to be what I wasn't. Pretending to be happy. If I could be happy everyone else might go back to how it used to be? That was how it always worked before. 

Grim wasn't around alot right now. He was out Training with the Guard. I think this break had really hurt his confidence. Like me he was blaming himself. I think everyone was. But it wasn't their fault. It was mine. I got to close. I started getting attached to everyone. I shouldn't have. I let my Guard down. I acted like a child and now I was paying the Price. 

I started taking care of my self for most things. While Tsunotarou was in the study connected to the room I would bath myself and pick out my clothes. I had gotten better and being more quiet as to not disturb him. I started cutting my own food. There was no need for him to do that I could handle it fine now That I had Gotten used to my size. I did my wing exercises alone. I brushed my own hair. I stayed Silent. 

Still everyone was quiet and sad. Grandmother would leave the Dinning room first every night. Game nights stopped after the first week. Noche stopped smiling after the first few days. After I stopped returning them as often. He shouldn't get close to me. He had gotten hurt. I couldn't keep him. I was constantly fighting my Urge to Hoard peoples attention.