The Secrets of The Sighted (Golden Trio Era) {3}

Fear Fergal Inflicted

When they arrived on Level Six, Remus was up there waiting for Mikayla to step off the lift. There was very few people on this level, most too busy trying to calm their own nerves or celebrating their own achievements to notice Mikayla entering the waiting room. Some turned to look at her, whispers falling from their lips but none of their words reached Mikayla's ears. In fact nothing was breaking through the sound of her own heart beats echoing in her ears, throbbing silently as she focused on breathing.

"What's wrong?" Remus whispers as they take their seat near the back of the waiting room. "What if I fail? I've never- I d-d-don't know how to deal with failure. I'm not r-ready to be of age yet! I don't understand how the w-world w-works. There's so m-m-much I don't k-know." Mikayla stumbles over her words as she turns to look at Remus, her eyes blown wide in terror while filling with tears. "What's bringing this on?" Remus whispered calmly, Mikayla opened her mouth to answer but the words wouldn't form.

She quietly gasps, looking down, seeking an anchor in knowledge that she was sat in a chair and not submerged in the water she felt herself drowning in. "I- I think I'm having a panic attack." Mikayla spat out, her whole body was trembling in her seat, she brain catching up with what's going on, just sent her into more of a panic. "Hey, hey. Focus on me, alright." Remus spoke but he sounded like he was under water in Mikayla's ears. He gripped her shoulder, causing her to flinch, whipping her head to identify who had grabbed her. When she realised that it was Remus, she felt her heart steady a bit but she couldn't stop herself from spiralling.

"Five senses rule... quick, tell me five things you can see." Mikayla shut down the challenge, but Remus pushed her to call out five things she could see. "Red and green flashes- Dark Mark. Lifeless eyes. They broke out- he escaped Azkaban." Remus denied Mikayla's answer even if it struck fear for her well-being through him at the accidental vision of Fergal escaping. "No, tell me five things you can see in this room." Mikayla's body shot back away from Remus', Mikayla eyes scanned the room, "chair, office door, table with old magazines, you, people staring." Mikayla responded, her voice breathless and raspy.

Remus looked up to see that people had in fact been staring at them, some with wide eyes as they had heard her mention an Azkaban breakout, others curious to what is going on with the young blonde. "Four things you can hear." Remus pushed on, focusing on Mikayla alone. "Your voice, w-whispers, static, footsteps..." Mikayla croaked as spotted someone crouch down next to her in her peripheral vision. She looked over to see that it was Fred as he took one of her shaking hands into his own. "W-what are you doing here?" Mikayla asks him, and Fred merely raises his wrist to display his watch, the hand that held her face was pointed towards emotional distress.

Remus reminds her on the task that's happening, asking her to list out three things that she's touching. "The ground, Fred, y-you." Mikayla answered, her breathing starting to level out, "good, two things you can smell." Mikayla informs them that she could smell mint from Fred's shampoo and chocolate from Remus' pocket. Her body's trembling began to slow down, until she was utterly still. Remus asked her to reveal one thing she could taste, Mikayla subconsciously swiped her tongue along her bottom lip, "cherries." Mikayla answered, her voice losing it's distressed rasp and stutter as she lets out a sigh.

Mikayla slumped back into her seat, raising her hands to conceal her face from the curious stares while wiping the handful of tears that had trailed down her cheeks. "What brought it on?" Fred asks settling into the seat on the other side of her, Remus was rubbing comforting circles in her back helping her tense muscle loosen up. "That's the embarrassing thing, I can't even explain myself properly. I just started spiralling, the stress I've been under and all the cameras flashing, it just brought up bad memories. And then I saw Fergal breaking out of Azkaban and well, you saw me..."

Mikayla paused out of frustration, her fingers sinking into her hair as she clasped her eyes shut trying to gather the courage to be honest. "Ugh, I hate this. I hate feeling like this. No matter how much I try to bury everything that he did, and act like doesn't effect me anymore. It's always there, waiting for an opening to pull me under." Mikayla lowers her hands, gripping the armrests as she didn't want to be seen pulling her hair out. "His voice still rings through my head, slipping through the cracks to plant doubts, to point out my every flaw and destroy whatever self-esteem I've worked so hard to rebuild."

Fred and Remus didn't know how to react, both of them speechless as they hadn't realised just how burdened Mikayla was by her past. That her demons hadn't been beaten, but were just hiding in the shadows. There were hints in the past, but nothing concrete enough to come to that solution without Mikayla's confirmation. Mikayla's eyes were filled with rage as her teeth gritted together, as if now that she started to open up that she couldn't stop the damn. "And it just makes me so angry, like I want to scream until my voice is lost, but that's exactly what he wants, for me to lose my voice, to be silent. To roll over and just take the beating, no tears, and just accept that I'll never beat him."

Fred placed his hand over Mikayla's, her knuckles were white from gripping the armrests so tightly. "Mikayla Black!" A voice called before anyone could utter another word, they all look up to see that Wilkie Twycross was stood outside his office staring at them. Without hesitation, Mikayla rose to her feet and made her way towards her examiner. The man hadn't changed since the first time she saw him, he was still oddly colourless with transparent eyelashes and wispy hair. He had a concerned expression drawn on his face, but Mikayla dismissed the flash of shame that rose in her stomach from his pitying look. Mikayla went as far to flash her brilliant smile, to indicate that she didn't need the old man's pity.

"Miss Black, it's good to see you again." Twycross professes loudly, "and you, sir. How've you been?" Mikayla asks politely, she hates small talk with Twycross because that man could talk the back legs off a donkey, but knows that she needs to be as respectful as possible to stay on his good side. "Oh good, good. How can you not be happy with the weather we've been having lately." Mikayla wanted to remind him that there are many reasons for misery these days, but held her tongue. "I've heard about your latest NEWTs achievement. I must admit that I've been bragging to the other examiners that I get to test a prodigal genius like yourself today."

Mikayla feigned flattery, brushing off the comment with an embarrassed chuckle. "I'm just excited to get my apparition licence today, that is if I pass." Twycross laughed loudly at her words, as if Mikayla has said the funniest joke that exists. "I very much doubt you could fail anything, if you tried. Not to mention, you did achieved apparition in your first ever lesson. But step inside, and we'll get started." Twycross opens the office door allowing Mikayla to walk in first, following her in while closing the door behind himself. When the door closed, the room spun and Mikayla found herself in back room of the Hogshead in Hogsmeade village.

"Alright, we're going to do five steps. First apparating to the other side of this door, then to the alley beside the Three Broomsticks, then inside of Gringotts' lobby in Diagon Alley, to behind to the Leaky Cauldron where the entrance of Diagon Alley is before apparating back to my office. This will measure your short and long distance apparition accuracy, as well as your stamina, which will determine whether you pass or fail." Mikayla repeats the instructions to make sure she has mapped out her exam properly, Twycross confirms that she had the correct instructions.

Twycross places a spell on Mikayla, the spell monitors on whether Mikayla splinchs anything that he can't see with his naked eye. Such as anything hidden by her clothes, or shoes, like a toe or something. "On three, one... two... three." There was two resounding cracks as Mikayla and Twycross disapparated.