Falling - Tom Holland imagine

Chapter 25

I was sat on the sofa holding tight to my baby pink test, brainstorming ideas on how to reveal this to Tom when my phone buzzed from the breakfast bar. I grabbed it to see a message from Tom, smiling I opened it and then my heart dropped. 

He was back. 

In the UK. 

In London. 

10 minutes away. 

I wasn't ready, dear god, but I was not ready for this, I thought I still had a day to get ready - my thoughts of making him a nice dinner and handing him a gift wrapped box at dessert with the test inside flying out of my head. I stood there, stomach churning with what may have been anxiety or morning sickness, incapable of moving as my thoughts chased each other incoherently. 

I heard his key scratch at the door before sliding home and the click as the lock disengaged, I put my phone and the test on the breakfast bar; walking over to help him with his bags, as he struggled to lug them and his handluggage and carrier bag through the door, whilst simultaneously being licked into submission by a grey staffie who did not understand she was being more of a hinderence than a help. I could see a bit of a scowl on his face as he dropped everything in the hall. I wrinkled my nose as he stood up, catching the scent of coffee rising from him, which in turn made my stomach clench, and his face darken at my reaction to him.

"I've had a crappy flight, I need a shower and some sleep, everything else can wait." he ordered, far from the loving tone I was used to. He walked towards the kitchen to make some tea going right by me, without a kind word or any physical contact, leaving me hanging there. 

"I'll make you some?" I offered in a concillatory manner, unsettled by his dismissive and angry demeanour, leaving me on the edge of a flashback. 

This was what I was used to, was this what I had been waiting for from him? 

I busied myself at the kettle as he flicked through a small pile of post I had set aside for him, grabbing his favourite mug and a teabag. It was taking a while to come to the boil, and while he was sitting there, blankly looking at the letter in front of him, I decided to get it over with, whilst I still had some dregs of courage left to me.

"Tom, there's one more thing you should look at" I began hesitantly, pushing the capped pregnancy test slightly closer towards him where he sat, scanning through an important letter.

"What now?" he snapped at me, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration, eyes closed.

"This, we need to discuss it, and what we're going to do......" I started before he opened his eyes again, looking at me with frustration.

"What we're going to do? You mean what YOU'RE going to do, its not my problem" he snapped, pushing back from the breakfast bar. "Fuck the tea I'm having a shower now." And he got up storming upstairs where I head the bedroom door slam shut.

I stood there, frozen. 

Briefly unable to move, or think, or feel before a crushing weight came over me, just as the kettle clicked off behind me. Was that it. My problem. Our baby was just a problem to him and he, he'd just brushed it off and walked away. Did he even care?

I heard the pipes creak as the shower started upstairs, and a tear fell from my eyes as I finally found myself able to move. My worst fears realised, that I, that we, weren't wanted, I had to get out of there. I slipped on my trainers, and grabbed my rucksack and purse hurriedly pulling my dark green hoodie over my tshirt and leggings before unhooking Toms front door key from my keychain, complete with the mini funko spider-man key ring. I placed it on the breakfast bar and heart aching so badly I had trouble breathing, I slid off his promise ring he'd given me for our birthday. I clutched it in my fist against my shattering heart, in an unspoken farewell to my dreams before placing it next to the key ring and whispered goodbye before walking to the front door and leaving, walking away with the click of his front door echoing in my head.