Falling - Tom Holland imagine

Chapter 43

The midwives were finishing off their notes when Tom brought down one of the moses baskets we had for the babies, and placed their swaddled forms gently next to each other, watching as they instinctively leaned into each other and my heart trembled with love for these two little monsters. I needed to have a shower and from the feel of it change my pad already. Nice. I left Tom sat on the sofa staring into the moses basket before the already familiar sound of his phone camera was heard. I'd taken a few pictures, including one of him holding both our babies on his chest, head tucked between both of them which was my newest favourite picture and which I sent to the group chat while on my way to the shower, leaving Tom to deal with the following 37 messages.

I had the best shower ever. I could finally have it hot and without the weight of the babies I could both stand up straight and breathe deeply again, although in doing so I managed to cramp the muscles in my back so it felt like I was being stabbed in the lungs. I didn't take long, mostly because I was tired and a little lightheaded and the cramping stomach and the constant streams of blood down my legs was proving too much to deal with right now. I washed and conditioned my hair and turned off the water before pulling on a fresh nappy of my own, as I termed the horrid post birth pants, once this was done I felt it safe to leave the shower and its gory murder scene bottom which I quickly washed down the drain; before pulling on a pair of joggers - that now mostly fit, and then a huge nursing bra, and tshirt. It was a miracle I could see my feet again. I walked slowly down the stairs, feeling lighter than air without the weight in front of me. All done, the midwife team was about to leave, but quickly gave me a final check noting that my stomach had shrunk amazingly and normally took several weeks to get as small after birth so I was well on my way.

Then the door shut behind them and it was just Tom and I and 2 tiny newborns. We sat there looking at each other utterly lost for words. I threw myself into his arms, snuggling close like we had before I got too big to manage it, and promptly burst into tears as he soothingly rubbed my back, kissing my cheek and tried to console me. I breathed in the warm masculine woody scent that seemed to emanate off him, calming my irrational tears, and wrapping myself further onto his lap wanting all the comfort I could get. He continued rubbing at my back alternating with stroking my hair as he told me how proud he was of me for the birth and how well I had done, and how I was going to be the best mother ever, thanking me for giving him the 2 most amazing children in the world and he could never give me anything that meant as much or was as important. Hearing his gentle voice calmed me and I relaxed into him lightly dozing after the sleepless nights and exertions. 

All was interrupted just 5 minutes later by a snuffling cry and we both shot up looking into the basket, as Elliot wriggled slightly, mouth opening. Our attention immediately focused on them we wondered what he wanted, but narrowed it down to either being a change or food so we tried both, I hoiked out one of my boobs and began manoevering him so he could latch on which he did like a pro, although it still felt like I was being attacked by a piranah, he suckled away for just a few minutes, enough to fill his tiny belly, then it was time for a change. We quickly realised that climbing upstairs for multiple changes a day was going to be a chore and elected to just use a pee pad and the sofa for now, but definitely needed to buy a changing mat for down here that we could stash under the sofa till needed. On peeling off his nappy we were confronted by a disgusting black sticky mess. Ew. However from my very, very extensive research I knew this was meconium and a good sign that his bowels were working properly. Wipes to hand I began to scrape the mess away from his delicate skin, wiping carefully, cleaning him up before adding a tiny amount of nappy rash cream and bundling him back into a new nappy and back into his onesie - it did get easier with time I noted.

Then we repeated the above with Abi who woke gringing just as Eli went back down. This time I left Tom to clean her up as it was only fair. Plus I was starving and thirsty, breastfeeding was hard work. Scavenging in the kitchen I found nothing that appealed then remembered Nikkis promise of cake and food.