Forbidden from the start

chapter 01

I've always wanted to study literature. It's something that defines who I am.

From Henry James to Jane Austen I find myself falling in love with the writing and the characters.

This year I've been accepted to The State University Of Georgia, to study drama and Journalistic Literature.

Im sitting here in my bedroom's window , trying to take in my surroundings of my home for the last time for a while .

Today I'm moving to my college dorm in Atlanta .

As I look through the window my eyes fall to the black classic car that is parked to our garage.

Leaning on the car is my brother , Michael .

Infront of him sitting straight with his forearms crossed and a frown look on his face is his bestfriend , Jacob.

Mike and Jacob have been bestfriends since I can remember. Our family and his are friends and we basically grew up together. With the difference that him and my brother are 3 years older than me . So when I was born they were friends already .

I've always been intimidated by Jacob , but I never showed it . When I was little I had the biggest crush on him . I was so inlove that i stood up all night crying and writing about him . That's when my love for writing began .

I tried to avoid him for basically my whole life , because I was sure that he didn't want me . I think he never really liked me ether.

When I was little , around the age of fifteen , we came a little closer . Then was the time that I actually thought we had something , a real connection , but that was just in my vivid imagination. When I turned sixteen something changed . He became more cold and distant. I made myself suppress my emotions so hard that they disappeared. At least I hoped that they did . I promised that I will never let anyone hurt me like that ever again , not him or anyone .

I never spoke about it to no one . All this years I had only myself to talk to and my journal to write to .Sometimes I think that it gets me more than some people do.

" are you ready darling?"

I turn around seeing my mom on my open door frame . her sweet smile making me feel more relaxed than I was before seeing her .

" Yeah Im just having a moment . I'm gonna miss home and you , dad , Mike " I sigh

" I know baby I'll miss you too , but this is a big step for your adulthood " she says giving me a hug " and besides that you've got Jacob. You won't be alone "

Jacob unfortunately goes to the same college as me . In a place so big like Atlanta i will need someone that I can trust and be comfortable with, and trust . My mum thinks that he will protect me , but from his behavior all these years I highly doubt that.

When we go there I'm not gonna speak to him ever again , and I don't think he has any objections about it .

I sigh and look outside again , my look falls on our little almond tree in our port yard. The small tree being the biggest supporter to me these awful and hart years .

" Do you think that it will have grown much when I come back home ?" I say with a soft smile on my lips

" You will grow together, and she will wait for you to come home to bloom " my mum replies sweetly