Forbidden from the start

chapter 45

Jacob's POV

The sky is clear , unlike my thoughts. The way my heart sinks every time I'm alone and able to think , it's really dehumanizing me. How I'm supposed to get better, be better if I can't keep my head straight and not do harm ?

Im sure he was gonna be disappointed with if he was here .

She's asleep beside me . I can't get enough of it , I just can't . It fills the void in my mind and it fulfills my desires , not enough, but just how much I deserve. It makes me forget , and I want to forget .

I don't even remember her name , and thats the whole point . She has dirty blonde hair and blue eyes I think , she's young but not too young and feisty ,which it's just my type . Feisty , not blond. She smells like coconut, I hate coconut. She doesn't talk dirty in sex and I hate that too . Too cold , distant. But I need it to be cold and distant. Sex is something to satisfy your hormones, not your heart and I keep trying to remind that to myself every goddamn time .

Im sitting on the bed , my feet touches the cold wooden floor of this dark room , and the girl that gave me an excellent orgasm fifteen minutes ago , lays on the one side of this queen sized bed .

My elbows balance on my knees and I look on the ground, quietly judging me from the inside out .

I get up and grab my pants , putting them on and grabbing my already fixed up joint.

I see my phone lit up but I choose to ignore it , I don't have the energy to answer to anyone right now.

I go outside on the open balcony and sit on the only chair that's out here . I breath in and out gently, taking in the beautiful scenery. Who ever this girl is , she is very lucky to live beside the beach. I can slightly hear the waves hitting the ashore mixed with the yelling and the music from downstairs.

I put the joint between my lips and bring up in my vision the only lighter I carry with me all the time , and not have lost already .

Olivia's lighter .

I glance at it feeling a bit off . I haven't heard from her for hours . She said that she was going to a party with Aaron , and although I don't trust him i couldn't say what I thought about it .

Maybe I should text her , I think to myself. To see if she's alright.

But I shouldn't, I have never done that , why now ?

I go back inside and grab my phone , opening it up and going to my contacts , perhaps a call won't be that weird .

But when I do , I see three missed calls from Olivia , and one voice massage.

I quickly press her number and try to call her , but her phone seems to be turned off .

Worry fills my gut and the little voice in the back of my head telling me that something isn't right ,

So I tap on the voice massage .

" Hi , I know we aren't in good terms right now but ," when I hear her voice I get a feeling of relief, but the fact that she's sounding out of breath triggers my worry " my phone is about to die .." she takes a pause " I know that I'm asking too much and you're probably busy tonight but " she takes a pause again and I curse to myself because she tortures me at this point " can you come get me ?" she asks and I hear how she pushes herself to ask for that.

" I don't feel safe "

and with her word I feel my heart sink .

I glance around the room looking for my keys , aggressively " I don't know where I'm , it's dark and all I can see is empty roads and old buildings and ," her voice trembles and she sounds desperate " sorry about-"

Suddenly the line dies .

I glance back at my phone and see that there's no more of that message. I plant my hand in my roots and shut my eyes closed .

No . No this can't be happening.

I pat on my back pockets to feel if my keys are there , but they aren't. I tap on the sheets loudly enough to wake the girl up .

" What are you doing " she says with her eyes slightly open " come lay with me " she brushes the pillow next to her

I ignore her and continue searching for my keys , and when I find them , I grab my shirt from the nightstand and head to the door .

" Where are you going?" She asks while I leave the room , the door banging loudly because of my intense pull

Going outside my nostrils feel with smoke and the smell of heavy alcohol as people lay on the ground , making out or doing drugs .

I squeeze myself in , trying to pass them in quick motions and going downstairs two steps at the time .

There's no way this is happening right now . I left her with him one fucking night , and she's already in danger . Alone , at night and with a dead phone ? If something happens to her she can't call anyone for help , not me , not the police . She didn't even say where she was .

Panic takes over my body , my heart beats faster than it should, as I pace outside this random house .

" Empty roads ," I mumble to myself anxiously , my feet start to move on their own to find my car " empty roads ," I repeat trying to figure out where she is by only to clues she gave me " empty roads and old buildings " I bring my hands up on my eyes , rubbing them as I try to focus " old buildings " I say , my mind starting to figure out where she is .

There's only one place Aaron goes to and it fits to that description that she gave me , and that's the abandoned hospital.

Two years ago the team and I , including Aaron , we all made for fun the basement of that old building as a place for big parties, and we did throw a lot of them there . But then some of us got bored of it and decided to stop going, but some others wanted to stuck around, so they used it as hanging up spot , or a spot to fuck girls .

I almost brake my door handle because of the too much strength I put while opening it up , my eyes already blurry from my anger . I start the engine and pull out from the parking lot in quick movements. I get my phone on my hand glancing at the time she sent the message and I see that it was twenty minutes ago , that meaning that when she was fearing for her life , alone and looking for me , I was getting fucked by that random girl .

I sigh tossing the phone on the passenger seat , my arm placed on the open window holding my head up . My one leg that's not pressed on the gas , bounces anxiously as my fist leaves my head and ribs my mouth firmly . My hands sweaty and slippery on the wheel . The road seems like it deepens every second that it passes despite me going with ninety kilometers per hour .

This place isn't for her , not only because she's can't defend herself, but because there's one reason guys brink girls there and that's to sleep with them .

And by the sound of her voice I didn't think that she wanted any of that .