Forbidden from the start

chapter 55

I toss and turn around on my bed. My mind doesn't seem to want to leave me alone and my gut loves to remind me that something really bad is gonna happen if anyone knew what I did. But the truth is that not everything that happened is worth to be forgotten.

His hands all over my body, his hands all over me.

I turn again.

Even if I didn't taste it, I could feel his tongue licking my skin. His lips caressing mine. I know that he wanted to, but still, his friendship is worth more than me.

And that's why I feel mostly guilty for.

For wanting me to be his first choice.

I wonder what he thinks about me now. I showed him a different side of me, an not-so-innocent side of me. Is he going to act like I didn't showed him how much I wanted him? Or he just gonna reject me for the sake of my brother's.

I take my phone in my hands and go to my texts. I glare at the keyboard and think of what should I text him, I want to be forward and I want to be over with it. I need to know how he felt for real, not only what I thought he did.

O- Are we supposed to act like nothing happened  last night?
Sent.

I take a deep breath and stare at the screen. It's three in the morning and I'm sure he can't sleep, just like I can't.

I see his typing.

J- Nothing happened last night.

Oh,that's how you wanna go.

O- I know you felt it too.

J- You know nothing, believe me.

O- Really? Cause I sure felt something when I sat on you lap yesterday,or later in my room..

J- Stop it.

O- You're always so bossy it makes me furious

J- Fix the attitude.

O- Or what? You gonna become hard by that, again?

J- I know you didn't just say that. You're forgetting that you're talking to your brother's best friend, should I remind you?

O- Please do.

And before he even got a chance to reply;

O- Matter of fact, let me remind you how good it felt to try to hold your moans behind so the others in the car wouldn't know that you're hard just by me sitting on you.

I breath out.

J-Fuck

I blink.

J- I hate you.

I smile.

O- Do you really?

I can't help but be persistent about it. He always has this attitude of despising my whole existence and then there he is every time; saving me from this awful world he hates more than me.