Suji told me that hurting her will cost me so much but I didn't know that it will be this much. I've been paying the price of hurting her for years now. The past four years have been hella hard and painful. I lost her for the 2nd time around because of my stupidity. I lost everything because she was my everything. I can't go to her and get near her even if I knew where she is. I was only allowed to adore and love her from afar and it sucks.
I lost Silver and after that my child followed. I lost my child too!
It’s been four fucking years but the pain didn’t subside even just a bit.
I remember the day I gave birth to Vermiz. I named her Vermiz because it’s the combination of our names. Silver and Mizuhara. The day I gave birth to her was the happiest day of my life because Silver was there.
FLASHBACK
It’s been 3 days of hell for me because I’ve been on my labor for fucking 3 days now and my child is not coming out.
I am currently here in my room while sitting on a yoga ball as I am struggling on the pain of giving birth. I decided to give birth at home to avoid getting in public. My doctor from US who is ate Alrisa’s close friend flew here a week before my due date to attend to me.
“M-miyu, I-I wanna see her” I said weakly to my sister while pertaining to Silver.
Feeling ko kasi ay katapusan ko na dahil sa sakit na nararamdaman ko ngayon that’s why I requested for her yesterday. I just wanna see her foe the last time in case if something go wrong.
“Sshhh ate don’t lose hope. Ate Alrisa will make it happen. You’ll see her, just focus on giving birth” she responded as she hugged me.
Minutes later, I am already crying in pain.
“D-doc, t-the pain is r-really e-excruciating” I complained.
“Alrisa, can you do something for your sister? Can’t you see, she’s already suffering!” my mom said in a high tone.
“Mom, relax. Hillary is an expert in her field” I heard ate Alrisa said trying to calm down our mother.
“Let’s transfer her to the inflated pool” Doc Hillary calmly said.
Aligaga namang tumulong sila Miyu at Harriet sa nurse na nandito din para sa panganganak ko.
“What’s going on here, Von? Why am I here?” I heard a very familiar voice and all of us froze on what we are about to do.
“Stop asking! She needs you” I heard Suji’s voice answered and in just a snap, they are already in front of me.
I feel like my whole world lighted up when I saw her angelic face in front of me.
“You are giving birth” she stated emotionlessly.
“I-I am” I weakly said and blushed in embarrassment when I realized my look right now. Gosh! Ang haggard ko now. Parang nawala yung sakit nanararamadaman ko dahil mas iniisip ko na ngayon ang itsura ko. My hair looks so messy and I don’t have anything on my face right now. To some it all up, I looked so pale and a living disaster at this moment!
“And how am I supposed to be needed here?” she boredly asked Suji.
“I need you” I directly answered even if I’m not the one she’s asking.
Maya maya pa ay namilipit nanaman ako sa sakit kaya napahiyaw ako. Nataranta nanaman sila Harriet at agad na akong inalalayan sa pool.
“I’m leaving” I heard Silver said.
BINABASA MO ANG
The Vlogger's Editor
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