The Unchronicled Adventures of Ahsoka Tano, Book Eight

Chapter Twenty: When Push Comes To Shove

AHSOKA TANO

After trying to calm down for nearly an hour, only to have her tears renew themselves each time, Ahsoka finally felt like she had finally cried her eyes dry. She had reached a state of emotional numbness; one that only companionship could really ease.

 So that left her with an obvious option: Lux.

 She perked up like a plant being watered at the thought. Lux, her sweet, charming, kind husband... She immediately wanted to go see him. Being with him made her all warm and fuzzy inside.

 She got out of bed, donning her Jedi-cloak-style bathrobe, which had become her most inseparable piece of clothing. It was like a second skin. Then she strolled down one of the several the short, unadorned halls inside the New Hope, heading for the cockpit. She knew that Lux, who had a habit of being up when everyone else was asleep, was on pilot duty. It was about one standard o'clock in the morning.

 She made sure to keep quiet as she passed by the two rooms that served as bunks. Christo, Anakin and Lux shared one of the two, and she was alone the other. As the only girl, the boys had thought it was only fair. She could hear the ten clones, plus Rex and Cody, snoring from inside the trooper barracks down the hall.

 She chuckled at the sound, wondering why the Kaminoans had gone to so much trouble to clone Jango Fett and correct aspects in his genetics, but hadn't bothered to stop them from snoring. It was a matter of convenience, she guessed. And if someone complained, then they could have made a lot more money by offering to do it separately.

 By then she had reached the cockpit. She pushed the button on the wall, and it slid open near-soundlessly. But Lux still heard it.

 "Hey, Socks," he said, and with a practiced swing of his arm over the controls, he switched the ship onto autopilot. He had always loved computers. Not as much as Semm, but he definitely had an affinity for them. "What's up?" he asked, taking the few steps that separated them to plant a kiss on her forehead.

 Leaning against the doorframe, she smiled. "Nothing really," she replied softly. "Just wanted to be with you."

 "And that's a perfectly acceptable answer." He sat back down in his chair, and she copied the motion in the copilot's station. "But I can always tell when something's bothering you. Spill it."

 She sighed. "Something is bothering me, I guess... I don't know. I'm just worried about Maul, worried about the Empire, worried about keeping us all fed... It's not easy being me."

 He nodded. "I get it," he murmured. "Not totally, but... When I was Senator, even though it was for less of a year, I had billions of lives resting on my shoulders. They were all depending on me to make the right decisions to keep them safe from most of the things that the Separatists could do to them. There were so many things that could have gone wrong... And it was my job to make sure that they didn't. I feel your pain."

 "Except that I know almost everyone in the New Jedi Order. I can name them all. You, you were just a far-away figure." Ahsoka didn't understand why she was making such a distinction, but she couldn't stop the words. "I'm up close and personal."

 "Yeah," Lux said, in a tone like he didn't fully understand what she meant. "But is something up? I mean, you haven't seemed like... like yourself for weeks."

 She laughed. It was a harsh, barking sound. "I feel more like myself than I ever have!" She stuck her arms out, then let them fall to her sides. They hit her thighs with a slapping sound, which was only muffled slightly by the bathrobe.

That should have set off the warning bells in her head. The last time she had uttered those words, she had been under the influence of a darker power. But its meaning, if any, was lost to her. She didn't understand how, but she was almost angry. And that anger was slowly heating her up, like magma on the inside of a volcano about to blow its top.

 "I just feel so... so scared. All the time," she continued. Her words were passive, but her voice was borderline enraged. "I've been scared out of my wits ever since this kriffing Empire was formed. I never realized it, because it was always buried under other emotions, emotions that a Jedi isn't supposed to have to deal with. But I do. I deal, I cope, I get by. But I can't anymore."

 "What do you mean?" Lux clearly didn't like her tone, and a little bit of a warning tone crept into his voice. "What's wrong with you right now?"

 "What's wrong with me?" she said, incredulous, her pitch spiking. Then she became sarcastic. "Nothing! Nothing at all! All's fine and dandy!"

 His eyes were as dark as grey storm clouds. "No, something is definitely wrong! You're never like this!" He looked up exasperatedly, his strict control that always kicked in when he was under pressure finally cracking. "Sometimes I don't understand you!"

 A severe staring competition ensued, each one daring the other to speak first. But Lux finally won over, and she felt like screaming. "Ugh, I can't deal with this right now!" she fairly yelled.

 Then she marched out of the room, unaware that her right eye had just the tiniest bit of yellow and red mixing in with the blue.

*Push has come to shove for Ahsoka and Lux... But could their fight have a deeper meaning? Is it just Ahsoka's stress from her pregnancy and other obligations, or is it something else? Because for our group of Jedi and their host of Rebel Troopers hiding out on Cialone, nothing is as it truly seems... You'll find out how in the next chapter of The Unchronicled Adventures Of Ahsoka Tano!

Semm's off watching Star Trek (AGAIN), Amni's giving Ahsoka something to help her with cramps from the baby and I THINK that Lux and Anakin are playing sabacc... But I wonder what with?

Lux: YESSSS!!!! I WON!!!

Anakin: Darn you, Bonteri... *sighs* I guess that's the last of the chocolate for me... AND I'M SURE YOU CHEATED SOMEHOW!! I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT YOU DID!!!

Lux: You offend me, my good sir! I did nothing of the sort!

Ahsoka: Don't trust him, Anakin!! He always goes all fancy language on you when he's lying! *eats chocolate*

Lux: *looks at Ahsoka all like, 'YOU TRAITOR'*

Everyone: *looks at Amni*

Amni: Hey, I'm SO not taking sides! If this turns into a fight, you're ALL going to need me!

Wait... OH KRIFF THEY'RE USING MY CHOCOLATE AS BETS!!! NO GIVE IT BACK NOOOOOOOWWWWW

Anakin: Oh FORCE!! Scram guys, she knows!

Everyone: *runs*

GET BACK HERE ALL OF YOU!!!

Infiltrate a Separatist droid factory on Geonosis - and try not to get killed - and may the Force be with you,

Sharron