From Monster to Human

The Devil's WHAT?

The door opened and there stood Thor, Valkyrie and Dr. Banner. 

"Surprise!" Loki said.

As they all walked in, I saw Thor picking a bottle "Hey! No need for that, he's real." I stopped him.

"Just had to be sure." Thor walked to Valkyrie.

"I know you, you are-" Dr. Banner cut me.

"The H-"

"Dr. Robert Bruce Banner, the most respected scientist in the world! Well, the Earth." I completed.

"Oh!" he adjusted his skin tight trousers.

"Hello Bruce!" Loki grinned.

"So, last time I saw you, you were trying to kill everybody. Where you at these days?" Dr. Banner asked to Loki.

"It varies from moment to moment." he looked him dead in the eyes.

"Is that a Dragonfang?" Thor asked.

"It is." Valkyrie replied non chanantly.

"Oh my god!" he said in awe "I thought it was an illusion but what's wrong with your face?"

"What is it?" Loki asked me.

"I don't know." I grinned.

"You look horrible!" Bruce showed him a mirror.

"Darling, why on Asgard would you do something like this?" he sighed defeated.

Thor and Valkyrie talked as I wiped the sharpie marks of his face "The Devil's Anus?" I heard Valkyrie say.

"The Devil's WHAT?" I asked.

"The Devil's Anus." she repeated as I gave Thor a 'Really?' look.

"For the record, I didn't know that when I picked it." Thor defended.

 "That looks like a collapsing neutron star inside of an Einstein-Rosen Bridge." I said.

"Who are you again?" Dr. Banner asked.

"I am-" I looked at Valkyrie "Y/N Callisto."

"You lied?" she asked me.

"I had to, I am sorry. This place it's different-"

"Don't know whom to trust and you trusted the God of Lies." she sassed.

"I'll consider that smile as your forgiveness to me." I smiled back.

"We need another ship, that will crush mine." she took sips of her drink.

"She's right, we need one that can withstand the geodetic strain from the singularities." Thor said.

"And has an offline power steering system that could also function without the board computer." I added.

"What do you do?" Banner asked.

"I am an English teacher." I replied "And we have a portrait of you and other famous scientists in every class, Dr. Banner."

"Bruce, please. Don't be so formal with me." he said politely.

"We need a ship with cup holders because we are gonna die, SO DRINKS!" Valkyrie laughed "There are one or two ships. Absolute line of models-"

"I don't mean to impose-" Valkyrie threw her bottle at Loki which she missed.

"What a waste of liquor!" I muttered.

"-but the Grandmaster has a great many ships. I may even have stolen access codes to his security system." he completed.

"I think he's bluffing." Thor said.

"We might have done some....mischief here." I grinned.

"Ok, can I just do-" Bruce whistled and assembled us "-a quick FYI?"

"I know, he will try to kill you all just not me." I said.

"He tried to kill me." Valkyrie whispered to us.

"Yes, me too. On many, many occasions. There was one time when we were children and he- he transformed himself into a snake and he knows that I love snakes. So, I went to pick up the snake to admire it and he transforms back into himself and he was like 'Mblergh! It's me!' and he stabbed me. We were eight at that time" Thor said.

We all took a glance of him smiling like a naughty kid "If we are boosting a ship, we are gonna need to draw some guards away from the place." Valkyrie said.

"Why not set the beast loose?" Loki smirked.

"Shut up!" Thor shushed him.

"Wow! You have a beast?" I asked in astonishment.

"No, there's no beast. He is just being stupid." Thor said "We are gonna start a revolution."

"Revolution?" I asked.

"Who is this guy?" Valkyrie asked about Bruce.

"I'll explain everything later." Thor held his hands up.

"Very very good! Anyways, do you have anything to eat?" I asked Valkyrie.

"We have packed food in Sakaar."  she said.

"Anything will do!" I shrugged.

.................