In which Neve keeps texting her deceased friend's number, at first in order to cope with the loss, and later on, as a force of habit. After four years, she is about to stop, but suddenly, the number responds.
***
An MNR epistolary collaboration wit...
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MON | 3:23 PM
Lorenzo: Read it Over and over I guess I owe you an explanation
3:27 PM
Lorenzo: You're the reason why I'm still here, Neve It's because of you that I worked so hard and stayed in this family Your messages to Sarah gave me hope that there's still some good in the world even though it's out of my grasp Your outlook in life helped me breathe. Made things bearable
You didn't know this but your messages were the only good thing I had I have friends, but they will never understand me like how you understand people
I worked hard to become better so that when I can finally meet you, you'll see me for what I've done. Not my family If I'd known this family would also be the one to push you away... Maybe I shouldn't have stayed? But you wouldn't want that and I wouldn't want to burden you with that either
I don't wanna burden you with how I feel too but I just don't know what else to do with it It's still new to me Everything you said to Sarah helped me breathe and endure a little more each day
You showed me what a real family is like You showed me what real selflessness could be I'd never experienced those but with you, I had a taste of it You gave me something to look forward to There's no other way to say it
You sharing every little thing that made you happy were the best times I had in the last years, even though it wasn't for me And your raw thoughts taught me that it's possible for me to truly care for someone without expecting anything in return I can't explain it myself but this is the truth
Neve: Aw 🥹 Kaines. Ba't naman nagpapaiyak, Big Boss?
Lorenzo: I'm sorry It's not your responsibility to bear the weight of my feelings I just... I just can't let you go yet So please If it's really okay with you Can we go back to how it was before you knew who I am? I wanna play this cool and let you go if that's what'll make things easier for you But I'll be lying if I say that's what I really want
Neve: Mahirap talaga sa 'kin 'to kasi first time. Ikaw lang din kasi yata yung kauna-unahang lalaki na lagi kong nakakausap. Nangangapa pa rin ako. Pero oki. Susubukan ko. Kasi 'di ka na rin iba sa 'kin. Wala akong ibang mao-offer sa 'yo, ha? Simple lang ako. Baka ma-disappoint lang din kita.
Lorenzo: You've always been enough even before I knew who you really were Why would you think I'd need anything more? Just... be there Don't push me away That's all I ask
Neve: 'Yon lang? 'Yon lang talaga? Okay sa 'yo kahit sa texts lang tayo mag-uusap?
Lorenzo: Being able to talk to you is more than enough
3:31 PM
Lorenzo: I know I'm being unfair by dumping this on you I won't force you to do anything you don't like I just wanna be honest for once I'll respect whatever decision you'll give me I give you my word
4:24 PM
Neve: Sorry! Sorry! Nag-meeting lang nang biglaan. 'Di na 'ko nakapuslit ng reply. 🥺🥺🥺 Ang totoo, natatakot lang talaga ako ma-disappoint ka at yung mga tao sa paligid mo. 'Di ka naman nagiging unfair sa 'kin. 'Wag mo sana isipin na ayaw ko sa 'yo kasi 'di naman ako matatakot nang ganito kung 'di ko rin pinag-iisipan talaga kung pwede pa ba tayong maging friends.
Ayaw ko rin naman talaga umiwas. Unfair sa 'yo at unfair din sa 'kin lalo na kaibigan naman na talaga ang turing ko sa 'yo kahit pa man 'di pa kita nakikita noon. Iba kasi, e. Iba yung comfort na pwede akong maging honest sa 'yo kasi 'di mo 'ko hinuhusgahan. Sorry kung nahusgahan kita dahil lang sa kung sino ka.
Duwag lang talaga ako :( At nalilito kasi 'di ko rin naiintindihan nang buo ano talaga hinahanap mo sa 'kin.
Lorenzo: Just a friend If you're okay with that Just this If it's still possible
Neve: Kaibigan lang ha.
Lorenzo: Kaibigan lang
Neve: Okay. Kung okay sa 'yo mga saguguilid na katulad ko... susubukan kong kalimutan na langit ka, Kamahalan 🥹
Lorenzo: Thank you
Neve: Pero pwede ba favor?
Lorenzo: What is it?
Neve: Pwede ba katulad ngayon... maging honest ka na rin sa 'kin? Para 'di ako laging nanghuhula. Para 'di lang ako yung kilala mo. Para 'di lang ako yung kwento nang kwento dito. Pwede ba 'yon? Gano'n kasi yung totoong magkaibigan?
Lorenzo: I'm not good at it But I'll try
Neve: Okay na 'ko sa effort 😊 Siguro ano... Ako naman ang magtuturo sa 'yo? Para patas? Kahit na 'di rin naman ako gano'n kagalingan sa pag-o-open up. May first time naman sa lahat, 'di ba?
Lorenzo: Yes :)
Neve: 😊 Wait. Meeting ulit. Saka... Natikman mo na ba yung pastries? Don't judge me, please. 'Di 'yan katulad ng mga nakakain mo for sure.
Lorenzo: This is even better Enjoy your work today, Neve
Neve: Thank you 😊 And Lorenzo?
Lorenzo: Yeah?
Neve: Sana kahit kaunti, okay ka na ngayon 🙏🏻
Lorenzo: I made you worry, huh? You're already here I'm even better than okay :)
Neve: 😊 Heto na talaga. Meeting na. BRB.
TWITTER
Neve 🔒@NeverSayNeve • 1m
Kaya ko naman siguro 'to basta 'di ako magpapadala sa mga gano'ng klaseng linyahan 😅
