The Sinner

57

A/N: play harry.

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The pouring rain coincided perfectly with how I felt today.

It beat against my windows, running down the clear glass slowly and in all different directions. The sky was gray, and gloomy -- it was the perfect day to lay in bed all day long. 

Although my bed felt different without Rafe here. 

It was lonely, and empty, and felt like I was missing something. A part of me, felt like I was missing something. 

I didn't know how to tell people that I don't know who I am when I'm alone. I don't know how to be dependent without someone else being my source of happiness. 

What am I without Rafe? 

Who am I without Rafe. 

I wish I could've done more. But, he chose the time to leave when I physically couldn't get out of bed, like a coward. Like a stupid fucking coward that's scared of his own damn feelings. That's too occupied in his own head to realize what's actually good for him. 

The book that Rafe had given me has been screaming for me to open.

But I just know that it'll tare my heart into tiny pieces.

He said that there were notes in there that he had written from when we were still together. Half of me wants to know, but the other half tells me not to. Just because I know, I'll be upset later.

But I really wanted to open it.

No, don't read it you'll only regret it Corrine. 

Maybe just the first page will be okay. I tap my fingers in a line, which make a thumping sound on my white duvet as I decide.

Yeah, the first page will be fine. I can stop after that.

I flip past the long dramatic note that Rafe had written, trying not to catch a singular word because I'll admit, it made me sob like a baby when I read it.

I flip to the cover page, that read 'Beauty and The Beast'. And on top of Beauty, he had written Angel. And over the beast, had had written Rafe.

That part just about killed me.

His stupid little doodle on the side made me laugh though. He must've forgotten to put hair on me, just added the halo. I felt myself sniff, realizing there were tears in my eyes already.

I flip to the next page and begin reading the book. It was a lot different than the cartoon I had watched as a little girl.

The merchant, who was Belle's father, told the story from his point of view. He said that he had six children and went on and on about them.

Rafe added to the side: man this guy absolutely fucks. I smile.

Belle was characterized as a beautiful young woman who everyone wished to be like. As her father put it, she was the cherished possession. Every eligible bachelor desired to marry her in town, but she turned them all down.

Rafe wrote: this is you angel. you're what everyone wants.

I read that she was nice and willing to give everyone a chance, regardless of who they were. But she was also thought to be odd because she was so different. She enjoyed reading, which was unusual for a woman at the time. But reading fascinated Belle, she loved to learn new things.

Rafe wrote: no way, you're weird too!

My heart almost stopped as I flipped to the following page. This page was littered with notes, all scrawled in his horrible handwriting. He wrote about how she had brown hair like mine, how we both loved to read, how we both loved family, and he even left a note wondering what I was doing right now. And how pretty I was.