The Sinner

106

"...You've found me."

I was at a loss for words.

My brain was screaming at me to leave, to run as fast as I could away from him. I have spent years getting over this boy. From crying in my room, to sleeping with countless men, to eventually going to therapy.

But my heart was telling me to stay.

To at least hear him out. Hear what he possibly has to say to me after all this time. It's not like we ended on bad terms. I have no reason to hate him. But something still felt wrong with the way we never spoke again.

Maybe this was the closure I wish and prayed for years ago, finally coming into play.

He looked exactly the same. His pretty captivating eyes, the small smile, his short buzzed hair, even the way he smelled was the same. It's like time didn't pass between us. These six years flashed by in a blink of an eye.

And here we are again.

"Say something," He whispers, as he towers above me. "Please."

"...I..." I try to form sentences but I can't. I physically cannot think. I stand here like an idiot with my mouth open, but nothing can come out.

I don't know why I'm so shocked, i came up here to see him. And now that he's standing in front of me and I can't believe it. Why am I so delusional?

"It's just me," He says in a comforting tone, "You have nothing to worry about."

"I don't know why I came up here," I could only whisper. That's all that my body would let me do. If it did anything else it would've shut down, I was convinced.

"You didn't come to the hospital to see me?" He asks, his brows knitting together.

"My dad got in a car accident," I explain, still quiet. "I came here to see him but I saw the paper. I knew you were up here."

His smile grows, "So you did come to see me."

"No I came to see my dad."

"But you came to this floor," He counters. "And I so happen to be staying here as of right now. So you knew I'd be here."

He got me there.

"I didn't think I'd actually see you," I explain, "I thought that visitation hours would be over. Or you'd be somewhere else by now. That article came out two weeks ago."

"Nope, still here. Much to my dismay," He licks his lips as his eyes give me a quick once over. "You look good, Corrine."

My heartbeat quickens as he tells me this. His eyes glancing down my body just the way they used to. It all felt familiar, and dare I say comfortable.

That's exactly what I was afraid of.

Comfortability.

"Thanks," I say shortly. Though I don't tell him that I thought he looked good, even though he does.

He looked really good.

"So what have you been up to?" He asks, pushing his hands in the pockets of his grey sweatpants. "Do you want to sit down? We can catch up over coffee or—"

"—No," I quickly interrupt.

"You still don't drink anything other than Starbucks do you?"

God he knows me so well.

"I-I can't stay long. My dad is expecting me, I was supposed to get him a soda from the cafeteria downstairs."

"Oh," a flash of some sort of emotion flew through him. It looked like, pain, or embarrassment. I couldn't tell. But his demeanor changed.

"Yeah, um," I shook my head, "I should actually get back now."

He doesn't say anything as I quickly turn on my heel. I start to walk back toward the doors, telling myself how stupid this was to come down here onto this floor.

"Corrine," he calls out to me.

I immediately halt in my steps. But it takes me a second to turn around. I hate how quickly he could stop me, even six years later.

"Please come back," he almost pleads. "I really would like to know what you've been up to these past couple of years."

"I don't know if that's a good idea Rafe," I tell him eyeing him cautiously. "I think you know that too."

"Since when do I do the right thing?" He chuckles.

"I thought time would've made you grow up," I say, "Guess I was wrong."

He hums, "And I thought you couldn't get any prettier than you were when we were younger." His eyes flick down to my lips. "Guess I was wrong."

"I need to leave."

"Yeah you keep saying that but you're still here, listening to every word I say."

"Rafe... I—"

"—Afraid you'll get sucked back in huh?" He teases cockily. A smirk slowly approaching on his face.

"No," I lie.

But he knew me too well. He knows I was a bad liar. And that might've just been the very thing that blew my cover.

He approaches me slowly, "You had to stay away from me this long. Even leave the island so that you wouldn't come running back, isn't that right?"

How did he know about that?

"I left the island to get my life together," I tell him, "The life that you blew up."

"But you so willingly let me," he was in front of me again. Closer this time. "And yet, you came up here on your own account six years later."

I look like such an idiot.

All that hard work of getting over him, to become better, is so close to being washed down the drain.

So don't let it, A voice in me says.

"I know you missed me angel."

Fuck.

Why does that nickname still make me weak? It's like his own personal siren song.

"I missed you too," he whispers in my ear. "So much." His fingers dance along my arm, the feeling sending spirals through my body. "Stay with me."

"No," I whisper.

He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, "Stay with me baby."

"I don't want to."

"Don't hurt my feelings Cory. We both know you're lying." His breath hits my ear and I just about fall to the ground. "Tell me how much you missed me."

"—Excuse me!" A voice shouted harshly. "What do you think you two are doing? Who are you?"

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. My senses finally caught up to present time. My hands were a shaky mess, I could feel my nerves ready to pop out of my body. I was sweating like a pig from being so nervous.

From him making me so nervous.

"No one," I tell the nurse. "I was just leaving."

"I think that's a good idea," she gave me a stern look. Shooing me out the door.

"I'll see you soon angel," Rafe says confidently, like he knew I'd be back. The same damn smirk he always wore was on his lips.

I don't say anything as I quickly rush out of the psychiatric unit he was in. And I make myself promise that I will never, ever go back there again.

As the elevator doors ding, and I walk inside, I let my back rest against the metal railing. I press the down button to descend to the cafeteria.

I couldn't help but think, why had Rafe made me feel more alive today than I have in years?

//

*knock knock* is anyone there?

Missed you guys.