The Sinner

65

A/N: for reference, this is Corrine's house. This is the driveway they're standing in.

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I've never really given my future any thought.

I feel like that's not normal for an eighteen year old. For the longest time, I  planned to attend college. And experience the traditional lifestyle we're expected to have as kids in today's society.

I just don't know what I'm doing with my life, you know? I think about the things I want, but I just don't know. I don't know what to feel or how to deal with them.

For instance, what about college? I'm not sure I want to go.

Is there a future for me on the Outer Banks? Who knows.

A life with two parents? What will life be like then? Would I be happier?

The only thing I've actually ever contemplated in terms of my future is him.

Like I mean seriously have given thought about this. All of the other stuff, I sort of just let it roll off my shoulders. I think I'll eventually figure it out. But him? It's like I'm putting pressure on myself to figure it out now.

He kept me awake last night. And no, it's not because of the reason I wish it was.  I couldn't sleep for the life of me because I couldn't get him out of my head after our deep and prolonged talk. It's as though he was permanently stained there now.

I hadn't expected that conversation to go so well. But it did. And last night, my mind raced through every imaginable scenario that may arise. I considered getting back together, getting married, and even starting a family.

Crazy, right?

I'm thinking about starting a family with someone when I'm only eighteen. Does he have his hooks that deep into me? Was this his plan all along?

There's something about the talk we had last night that resonates with me. It went better than expected, and I left happy. Rafe makes me happy. It seems simple to imagine a future in which everything goes smoothly and the two of us end up together. And that's all I've ever wanted.

But maybe things won't go smoothly. Maybe easy isn't the point.

No, that's not true. Things can be easy if you have your shit figured out. Which is all I have to do - get my shit together.

I've spent the entire next day thinking about him while staring at random objects around the house. When I eventually snap out of it, I find myself doing something stupid. Like over pouring my water, or letting my grilled cheese burn.

It's like he's got me in some stupid trance. We're not even together anymore and he still affects my days.

"Corrine?" Maggie's voice carrie's from the bottom of the stairs.

"Yeah?" I ask.

"There's someone here to see you."

I wonder who that could be. My feet thump on the floor as I walk out of my room and into the open hallway that overlooks the living room.

When I get downstairs and turn the corner, my entire body jerks to a halt when I realize who's there in the doorway.

"Sarah?" I say in disbelief. "What are you doing here?" She's the last person I would have expected to see right now. She ditched me the other day.

"I came to talk to you," She explains quickly.

Now she suddenly needs to talk? Where was she the other day when I was waiting for her for a half an hour?