The Sinner

26

Rafe and I were currently lying in his bed.

We haven't moved since earlier, not caring that Ward or Rose could catch us here. It's been quiet for a while, so quiet that I assumed he had been sleeping. But he wasn't. He was staring up at the ceiling, while I was resting my head on his chest.

I knew there was something on his mind.

I just didn't know what. Lately, it's been like he's here physically, but mentally he's somewhere else. There's something he's not telling me, something he's battling internally. Maybe it's the darker part of him that I picked up on a while back. Maybe he's regretting whatever this is between us.

Shut up brain. Stop overthinking.

I lift my chin up to scan his face, he looked good from this angle. His jawline sharp, veins popping out on the side of his neck. There were some pieces of dirty blonde hair that fell in front of his eyes.

"You like something you see?" He asks, not bothering to look down at me while he talks.

"Maybe," I say. The corners of his lips twitch. "What are you thinking about?"

"You," He says after a while. I lift my head off of his chest, which causes him to look back down at me.

"What about me?" I ask softly. This is where he tells you he doesn't want to do this anymore. Then you'll really be alone.

"This has just been picking up fast," He explains. My heart rate starts to pick up. "When I told Sarah you were basically my girlfriend it just hit me all at once, I think."

"And, you don't want to do this anymore?" I ask quietly. He immediately shakes his head.

"No, no. I do," He says and rubs my back. Oh thank god. "It's just scary. I've never done this before."

I nod, "I thought you were going to say you didn't want to be with me anymore."

"Never," He says and kisses the corner of my forehead. "It's getting to a point where I can't imagine my life without you angel." I pull on my top lip with my teeth as I try not to allow my cheeks to turn the deepest crimson color.

"I think we both have the same thoughts simultaneously," I say with a chuckle. "I had that thought the other day." He nods, continuing to trace patterns on my back. "Do you want to talk about why you think it's scary?"

"I don't know," He says at first. "I know how I feel internally, but, I can't form the words to describe how I feel."

I nod, "I get that." I push out my lips as I begin to think. "You could just spit out words, and I can put them together." He chuckles and runs a hand through his hair, his muscles flexing as he does so.

He looked so hot.

"I've never felt what I felt with you," He says, a valley forming between his brows. "It's like, happiness, almost, but a lot stronger then that. It makes me feel really good to be with you." I nod, motioning for him to continue. "I haven't thought about another girl since I've been with you. And I mean that."

I look up to him, to see him looking down at me with those big blue eyes I loved. He softly brushes some hair away from my face.

"You're my first thought of the day, and my last," He shakes his head as he leans it back again. "You make me so fucking vulnerable angel, and I don't know why." There it is.

"So that's what you've been thinking about?" I ask, "Why I make you so vulnerable?"

He hums, "Yeah."

"That's a good thing though," I tell him. "You want to be vulnerable in a relationship."

"I agree," He says. "I'm just not used to it. You know me, I've had a fucked up childhood, I'm not used to all this from the same person."