The Sinner

24

"Do you like ignoring my calls angel?"

Fuck. Him.

That's the first thing he says to me? Out of everything he could have possibly thought of, he really said that.

"Do you like only coming to me when it's convenient for you?" I ask, raising my eyebrows at him. "Do you like only thinking about your feelings?" He lowers his head as he stares at his feet.

"I get it," He says quickly before I can continue again. "I was a dick."

"No shit," I say with an eye roll.

"Can I please come in?" He asks, hands shaking from being cold. I fight the urge to roll my eyes.

"Give me one good reason why I should let you, and I'll think about it," I say, crossing my arms over my chest. It's not my fault he decided to buy a bike instead of a car.

"Don't you want to hear me out?" He asks.

"Why should I?" I say.

"Because I care about you," He says. "I was an idiot when I said you weren't my girlfriend."

"No you were right, I'm not," I tell him. "Because there's no way I'd get together with someone as selfish as you." He looks hurt for a second, but the emotion soon disappeared under the cold expression he normally gives out.

"You don't mean that," He says.

"Yes I do." He rolls his eyes as he grows angry with my lies.

"You can dish it all out to me angel, but I know at the end of the day you'll still want me just as much as I want you." I purse my lips as I stare at the wet ground behind him. He was right - but I didn't want to admit that. "Don't say things you don't mean to try to push me away."

"You hurt me Rafe," I say, my eyes flashing to meet his for the first time in a while. "Why shouldn't I push you away?"

"Because..." He runs a hand through his wet hair.

"You can't even say it," I whisper with a scoff. His eyes darken in anger as I cross my arms over my chest.

"You want a fucking reason to let me in?" He says, slightly raising his voice. "It's because I need you, okay?" I furrow my brows as I stare at the frustrated expression on his face. "I need you in my life, Corrine."

"No you don't," I tell him coldly. "You need the idea of someone like me."

He shakes his head, "I need you, specifically you in my life because you're good for me." I sigh, I couldn't tell if the two of us together would be great, or if it would be disastrous.

"I'm fucked up Rafe," I tell him. "I have abandonment issues, trust issues, self esteem issues. There's probably more I don't even know about yet. But what I do know is that you don't want a girl like me in your life." All of this that's coming out right now isn't how I want it to. I know that I want Rafe in my life, but my brain works in a way where I feel like it would be easier to get him away.

He takes ahold of both my hands, and despite the purple coloring of his lips, they were warm. He takes a step closer to me, staring down into my eyes deeply.

"I don't give a fuck what problems you have angel," He says while tucking some hair behind my ear. His finger leaves a wet trail behind, but it still felt good to have him touch me like this. "If you're the one I end up with I'm willing to take the baggage you come along with too."

"Rafe-"

"I think you think that if people get to know the real you they're going to leave," He says.