The Sinner

55

A/N: play the music when i tell you, pls don't skip it <3

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"I was the reason you got shot Corrine."

As he glances down at me, I stare into his hard, serious eyes. At first, I assumed it was some twisted joke, that he was attempting to mess with me in order to lighten the situation. But this wasn't joke.

He was serious. Dead serious. He used my real name, which he only does when he truly means something.

"...What ... What do you mean?" My voice sounds soft, and fragile. At this point, with all the pain meds I was on, I couldn't tell what felt real and what was changed from the medication. Was he even really saying this?

"The, big man, as you know had the gun aimed at you from where we were standing," He says slowly. "I pulled the gun up at the last second, and the bullets, they hit you."

"How do you know that?" I ask. I feel like a thousand thoughts are going through my head right now. "It could've been him that fully meant to shoot me."

"He told me," He explains. "He told me he was going to miss on purpose to scare you."

"It...It was an accident," I whisper. He shakes his head. "You would never hurt me, Rafe. You told me that yourself. You-"

"Corrine," He stops my rambling. I close my mouth as I feel a whirlwind of emotions run through me. "I did, hurt you."

"You didn't meant to," I whisper. For the time being, I think this is the loudest I can make my voice. Any louder and it might crack, and crying in front of him is the last thing I want right now.

"I did tell you that I'd never hurt you," He says. "But I did. And.." He shakes his head as he trails off. "My brain couldn't hold onto that, I hurt you, I almost killed you."

"Rafe," is all I can say. I don't know what to, I feel confused. And he's picking the worst possible time to do this. "I'm okay, Rafe."

"But what if you weren't?" He says. "What if I was the reason that you dropped dead?" I pull my lips together as his eyes leave mine. They looked like they were full of pain, and regret, and guilt.

"The doctors did their job," I say. "It's not like you had the gun pointed at me Rafe."

"I basically did though, my finger wasn't on the trigger but I still was the reason that you got shot. I moved the gun at the last second, and...and you almost died."

"Rafe..."

"Why aren't you making this out to be a big deal? I could've killed you," He says, his voice raising slightly. "You should be upset with me." He's right, I should be upset. And I think I normally would be, I think right now I'm too hopped up on pain meds to think straight.

"You tried to stop him from shooting me. How were you supposed to know that he wasn't actually going too?" My eyes frantically search for his, but he refuses to meet them again. I watch him close his eyes for a couple of seconds, before shaking his head. He gets up from the bed.

*play song now*

"I can't...I-I can't do this, I can't talk about this right now," He says, squeezing his eyes shut.

"What are you talking about? You're the one that brought this up," I tell him. He runs a hand through his hair, and pulls the ends as he paces in front of the hospital bed. "Why are you acting as if you actually did kill me? You're freaking out for no reason, Rafe. It's okay."

"I'm not!" He snaps. I furrow my brows as he suddenly grows angry. "I'm not freaking out for no fucking reason Corrine!"

"I don't understand why you're yelling right now," My tone matched his. He continues to pace back and forth as he clearly isn't doing well. "If you don't want to talk about this you shouldn't have brought it up."