Kismet

Chapter 1- Mediocrity

Lila's POV

Our romance started out as something special.

I met my husband in high school. He was the brother of my best friend at the time, and he'd flirt with me whenever I'd come over to hang out or sleepover. Brandon was easily the sweetest guy I had ever met. We clicked instantly, which my friend just loved, and we have been inseparable ever since. He was my first love. I thought I had loved before him, but once you REALLY experience love, you know the difference... and with Brandon? It was real. We stayed together all throughout college, moved in together following graduation, and after being together for many years, we finally married. Our families were thrilled.

How we came to where we are now... I don't really know.

Life is harder than what you hear about in fairy tales or movies. We had everything going for us. Good grades, decent families... and yet we still ended up with dead-end jobs. We live paycheck to paycheck, terrified of the next big expense that would potentially devastate us. Over time, we drifted apart from friends and family. Having time to meet up with people regularly became so much harder when we were constantly trying to just get by.

I changed, too; I know that. I always had a smidge of anxiety growing up. Even when I was a kid, my mom and sister repeatedly said I was the "worrier" of the family. It only escalated when I had my own bills and my own responsibilities. I knew I was lucky, though. I hadn't had an anxiety attack in months, so some of my coping mechanisms must be working somewhat, which is good considering I can't really afford a doctor or therapy.

Depression hit Brandon like a ton of bricks. He isn't the positive, happy-go-lucky guy I knew in high school anymore. He was always quiet, but he is even more so now. He angers quickly and is exhausted all the time. You can really see in his eyes how much he's changed from the sweet and attentive boy he once was. It hurts me to my very soul to see how sad he is. I'll always be there for him, though. I couldn't live with myself if something happened to him.

We're in this together. That's what we always said. A team. Sometimes, though, it felt more like I was HIS team, carrying him through everything while he did the bare minimum for me or only showed up with the important things. Don't get me wrong, he always came through when I really needed him... but sometimes I just wanted someone to take care of me, too, you know?

I really need to stop complaining. My life might be mediocre at best, but I have a roof over my head. The "romance" in our relationship might be ancient history, but we can pay our bills, and we have food in the kitchen. I have a partner by my side who loves me and will be there for me if I need them. There are people out there with far less, so I need to be thankful for what I have.

I was contemplating all of this as I lounged on our bed, staring a hole in Brandon's back. He's across the room on the computer playing his games, which is pretty much the norm for him. Surprisingly, these were the happy times, the times when he was in a pleasant mood. I was ignored most of the time... and to be honest, I preferred it that way. I could read without being disturbed or watch videos on my phone uninterrupted.

"Hey, sweets," I call out to him while he's playing. He doesn't respond at all, so he probably can't hear me with his headset on.

I force myself to leave the warmth of my blankets with a sigh. I stand up, stretch my body out languidly, and walk over to him, tapping him lightly on the shoulder.

"FUCK!!" He shouts, pushing his chair back and glaring at me. "Lila, I died because of you. What the hell?!"

I don't even jump from the outburst. After years of being with him, I'm kind of used to it. "Sorry, I tried talking to you, but you couldn't hear me before..." I mumble.