Wildest Deams

Chapter Twenty-Eight

“Undercover?” Olivia asked softly, as tears burned her eyes. She was certain that Cragen didn’t allow this, so she was unsure who decided to steal her partner not long after their little boys were born.

“Yeah, baby. I’m leaving tomorrow morning. I’m sorry.” Nick whispered. He wanted to start bawling himself, but he kept his composure. If Olivia needed to let loose instead of bottling everything up, he needed to be there for her. He needed to be a shoulder for her to cry on.

“Who needs you?” Olivia whimpered, as August and Silas started to whine from their bassinets.

“Bronx Narc-”

“Narcotics?! Nick, that is incredibly dangerous! What if you get shot? They could find out you are a cop and execute you!” Olivia sobbed, as she started to pace the length of their bedroom.

Olivia wanted to scream and fight whoever called her boyfriend in, but there was no way she could go down and beat the shit out of a CO in her condition.

“Olivia, slow down. You are going to get dizzy and-”

“We finally are starting to figure this out, and then you are going to leave. I can’t raise three kids alone, Nick… I can’t.” Olivia whispered, as she stopped and locked eyes with Nick.

“You won’t be alone. Ma is going to be here, and all of our friends can help too. We will figure this out together. I promise.” Nick smiled, but his lips were shaking.

“No, we won’t. I will have to figure it out by myself.”

///

Olivia was so angry, but by bedtime she finally decided to try and push everything aside for the night.

“Nicholas?” Olivia asked softly, as she went into their bedroom. She had avoided Nick most of the day, and she honestly hated herself for it. Nick moved from the bathroom and swallowed hard as he saw Olivia.

“Hey, Liv. Um, do you want our bed and I-”

“I’m sorry that I have been a jerk today. This whole situation is so scary… however I am not going to waste our last night together for a while. So can you sleep in here? I’ll take all the night feedings and changes so you can sleep, but-”

“I want to spend time with you and our three kiddos. So let’s just focus on us.”

Olivia and Nick both slept like shit that night. It was as if August and Silas could sense the tension, so they were fussy all night. Zara even ended up getting up in the middle of the night and spent time with her parents in between feeding the babies.

“You are going to be exhausted today.” Olivia sighed, as she caressed Zara’s curls.

“Why are we up anyway?” Zara asked, as she looked up at her mother. Olivia frowned deeply, before sighing softly.

“Zara Marie, I’m going to be gone for a while. Mommy and I can’t sleep because of it. We don’t want to sleep through some of our only time together.” Nick replied softly.

“Where are you going, Daddy?” Zara whispered, as tears started to well in her eyes.

“It’s for work, so I can’t tell you. I don’t even know, princess. But I will be back home eventually, and then we can be together as a family again.”

“Mommy, are you going too?”

“No, baby. I’m not even going back to work yet. So since Daddy is going to be away, you, Abuela, the boys, and myself will be here. We will stick together as a family. Okay?”

“Okay.” Zara whispered. She rolled away from her mother before snuggling up close to her father.

“Z, everything is going to be okay.” Nick cooed.

“Please come home soon, Daddy. I’m going to miss you.”

///

Zara passed out around three that morning, which gave Olivia and Nick about an hour and a half to be alone. They spent a lot of time kissing, before Olivia made Nick breakfast.

“So I want you to give Captain Vargas all of my contact information. Then if anything happens to you, he knows who to contact.”

“I will. You are my emergency contact too, love.” Nick spoke, as Olivia sat a plate of eggs and sausage in front of him.

“Then what happens if Maria shows up?” Olivia whispered.

“I have custody of Zara, since Maria wants to be free. You can keep her, because I left you written permission to. If she comes around to start things, call the cops and have her arrested again.”

“Again?”

“Oh, yeah. Maria got arrested yesterday… that is what was happening when Zara flung herself at you. But I dealt with it, and she shouldn’t be bothering us.”

“Good.” Olivia whispered.

“Baby, I’ll be safe. I have three kids and the love of my life is coming home too.” Nick smiled, as he turned to look at Olivia.

“If you survive this, I think we need to start living life to its fullest. Do as many things together as possible, because I don’t want to miss another second with you… with our kiddos.” Olivia spoke weakly.

Nick leaned over and kissed Olivia, before smiling and nodded.

“Anything for you, my love. Until then, I need to finish this and then go say goodbye to the kids.”

Nick went upstairs after breakfast and put away some things he didn’t want to lose, before sitting on the bed with the twins. He held them close and pressed kisses to their heads as tears flowed freely down his cheeks.

“Okay, Auggie and Silas… I’m going to be gone for a while. I don’t know when I’ll get back, so you may not know who I am when I resurface. But I just wanted to let you know that I love you both so much. Please go easy on your Mommy, and take care of her. She’s scared and sad, but having my two mini me’s may help her through this… oh, and please take care of your big sister. Don’t grow up too fast, my boys.”

Nick placed kisses to the messy curls on the babies’ heads, before laying them back in the bassinets. He kissed Zara’s forehead a few times before moving to the door. He turned around and looked back at his sleeping kids.

“God, please don’t take me away from them.”