Blue Eyes | 5sos

four

"Aren't you nervous?" Hannah asked as her and I laid on the grass the following night, sharing a joint together.

"Nervous? About what?"

"About your dad, Carson."

I laughed loudly. "Han, why the hell would I be worried about him?"

"He wants to go for joint custody, Car. That's huge.. I think."

"It's not like he'll actually get it though, the dude doesn't know one damn thing about me."

"I don't know but something tells me you're gonna be spending time with him."

I gave her a dirty look before yanking the joint out of her hand. "Okay and that's when I know you've had enough."

"What? No I wasn't finished yet," she laughed.

"Yeah I think you are.. I don't need your high ass spewing that negative energy about my dad."

"Carson.."

"No, Hannah. He's not going get custody of me, I just know it."

She sighed and grabbed the joint out of my hand this time, taking another drag. "Aren't you at least a little bit worried about this?"

"Of course not because he's not going to get anything."

But on the inside I was terrified.

There was a really high chance that he could get custody even if he was completely absent for most of my life. All he had to do was make up some sob story to the judge about how he wants to be a part of my life, and boom, he's granted joint custody.

I didn't even want to think about living with him or visitation or whatever. He fucking left me and mother so why would I want any part of that.

He basically just abandoned us.

"He's not going to get custody, Hannah. I won't let him."

"Okay okay I'll stop pestering," she laughed. "Enough about him.. are you going to Josh's party on Friday?"

Friday. Today was Wednesday so that'd be in two days.

I pondered and thought about it for a second. Despite my mom allowing me to smoke and occasionally drink, she wasn't the biggest supporter of me going to parties.

Yet at the same time she never really tried to stop me either, she just gave up after a while of my arguing.

"Yeah, I'll be there." I smiled.

Besides my mother, what else could possibly stop me?