Blue Eyes | 5sos

Nineteen

(tell me if you hate it or not.)
(not proofread)

*warning mentions of possible heavy topics in this chapter ahead*

..

With somewhat of a confirmation from Carson, I still took it as one despite her silence, I now knew I was dealing with something much bigger than I originally thought.

I decided that just like the Xanax it would be best to gradually wean her off of the cigarettes as opposed to forcing her to quit cold turkey.

The Xanax withdrawals were already starting to become apparent and I didn't want the withdrawal of her quitting smoking flat out without tapering it would become too much for her health.

Luckily we would hopefully get her the help she deserved with sessions with Calum and helping her through the process of quitting.

However, another big obstacle that stood in the way was Tiffany. I knew she was the one feeding drugs to Carson, the one who introduced her, the one who caused her addiction in the first place.

Surely it had to be some form of abuse or neglect.

The following morning when I awoke, despite not getting nearly enough sleep as I intended to, I got out of bed and peeked my head into Carson's room; she was still asleep.

I knew what I needed to do.

I had to get Carson away from Tiffany if I wanted my daughter to live.

Sure, that may sound extreme to some people but I genuinely feared Carson wouldn't live if I sent her back to live with Tiffany and continue a life of drugs and alcohol at such a young age.

I feared that I would receive a phone call in the future that my only daughter passed from an overdose.

I knew that I hadn't been around in Carson's life for the first fifteen years, but trust me, if Tiffany had told me she was pregnant then I would've stayed and supported her and Carson.

I couldn't lose my only child and I wasn't about to.

"Hey," I smiled tiredly at the guys when I reached the kitchen downstairs and saw them getting ready for their shifts.

"Hey," Ashton smiled back. "You look rough, man."

"Yeah, I feel it too. Didn't get much sleep. I was too worried about Carson."

"Did she do something?"

"Yeah, she smokes. Found that out when I went to ask her last night if she took the money out of my wallet."

Michael shook his head and handed me a cup of coffee. "We need to get her in for a physical. There could be so many underlying health issues from the drugs and alcohol."

"I know, I know."

Quite honestly I didn't even want to think about what the worst of that could be, but Michael was right; it needed to be done.

"I think I need to stay home today," I sighed and buried my face in my hands. "Probably need to contact my lawyer and see what the next steps would be about getting full custody."

"Of course. Whatever you need, man." Calum smiled.

They all stood up to leave and gave me a quick hug. I was grateful for them being in my life especially if I was about to go through an even more difficult and lengthy custody battle.

Whilst I waited for Carson to wake up I contacted my lawyer and explained the situation, they were going to file a motion to go forward with emergency full custody of Carson. It may be difficult without a verbal confession from Carson that Tiffany was the one who gave her these drugs, but I hoped it would work.

Just as I finished the phone call I heard creaking on the stairs and soon Carson slowly walked into the room.

"Good morning," I smiled and stood up, walking over to the fridge. "What would you like for breakfast?"

"I want to go home."

"What?"

"I want to go home, Luke. I want to go be with my mom in Australia. You know, your ex Tiffany?"

"Carson," I sighed and shut the fridge. "I don't think that's possible."

"Yes, it is. You just buy the plane ticket, send me on my merry way home, and then we never have to see each other again."

I couldn't tell her that I was going for full custody and then have her lash out at me about it, maybe once she was sober from the drugs and alcohol, and if I was granted custody, but just not now.

"Carson, that is not how it works, okay? I'll have to contact my lawyer to see how that works with the custody agreement."

"So call them then. I want to go home, Luke."

"This is the way things are, Carson," I explained. "I currently have custody of you for three months, in these next three months I would love it if we were able to strengthen and build our relationship as father and daughter. That is all I ask for those three months and then if you still hate me after that we never have to see each other."

"You took my cigarettes and Xanax away from me," she teared up. "I needed them."

I felt bad for her. She was just a kid that needed love and guidance, something that Tiffany probably wasn't giving her.

But I was going to change that. I was going to give her all the love and support.

"Because I did it for a damn good reason, Carson." I pulled her in for a hug and this time she surprisingly allowed me to. "You are worth so much more than those things."