Finn

Chapter Thirty-One

Dear Finn,

I'm so sorry to be saying goodbye to you in a letter. I wish I could've given you a proper goodbye, maybe given you one last hug or seen you smile one more time. But I know how stubborn you are - you'd never let me leave if you were given the chance to stop me.

In a perfect world, I wouldn't have to leave at all, but I know this is for the best. I thought what I felt for you was just a crush, but after tonight at the fire, I know it's so much more. Cillian may have been wrong in acting on his anger towards me, but it wasn't misplaced. He's known me a long time, and he could see that I was falling in love with you before even I could admit it to myself.

I know you don't feel the same for me, and I'm okay with that. You have a mate who loves you, and as long as you're happy, then I'm okay. I would have been happy just getting to know you and be your friend. I never had any plans to act on my feelings. But despite how much of an asshole Cillian has been towards you, I still care for my friend. I want him to be happy, and I know he would never feel comfortable with us being friends after learning how I felt about you.

I never had any intentions of coming between the two of you. I hate that I was the cause of a fight between you, and worse, that I was the reason for your tears. You deserve so much better than that, Finn. And as much as I'd love to be the one to give it you, I know it can't happen. My presence only serves to drive a wedge between you and Cillian, and I know what it feels like to lose a mate. I'm not willing to risk you meeting the same fate. I can't be the one to cause you more pain.

I hope one day you can forgive me for leaving like this. I'm not sure when I'll come back, or if I will ever return. Maybe one day, when you and Cillian are mated and have little pups of your own I'll come back and visit. I'd like to say I'll be over you by then, but I'm not sure I can promise that.

I've been alive a long time, Finn, and I've never met anyone quite like you. I hope Cillian never takes your presence for granted, because I don't think I'll ever truly be able to forget the sound of your laugh, or the beautiful sparkle in your eyes when you get excited. You're one of a kind, Finn, and I hope you never let anyone dim your fiery attitude or your passion.

I'm leaving this letter with Cillian to give to you. He's the only one I could tell about me leaving that wouldn't try and stop me. I told him I'm stepping down as Beta, and that he should promote Nolan. He's a good guy, and he deserves the role. He's more dedicated to the pack, and won't be as easily distracted by a beautiful girl. I hope Cillian takes my leaving as a sign of good faith, and can one day forgive me for loving his mate.

I'm not sure where I'll go from here. Maybe I'll travel south down the coast for a bit, although I hate the heat. I've heard about a hidden waterfall a couple hours north of here that is supposed to be magical, and I've always wanted to go see it. Maybe I'll visit there for a bit. Wherever I end up, just know that I'm safe. Don't waste your time worrying about me. I've been on my own before, so I can handle it again.

Thank you for making me feel hopeful again, for the first time in a very long time. As much as I hate leaving you, I know you're destined for amazing things, Finn. You've lived a life of so much pain, and now you deserve to feel so much love and happiness. I hope you find everything you've ever wanted with the Lonn pack and with Cillian.

I hope to see you again one day.

All my love,
Turin

P.S. Keep yourself safe, okay? No more running around in the forest by yourself with kitchen knives!