Finn

Chapter Forty

Chapter Forty

Cillian's POV

I winced at the slight tug in my chest. The bond between Finley and I had been dull since she left, but still painful. My wolf didn't like being away from her, but between what I had done and the distance, the connection wasn't strong. I could still feel her there, but it was weak, too weak. It wasn't strong enough for me to follow it to wherever she ran to, only enough to let me know she was alive.

I had spent the last week since she left hoping with every cell of my body that she was safe, despite my brain thinking up every horrible fate she could have fallen into. I didn't blame her for leaving. In fact, Finley leaving seemed to be the thing that finally kicked me in my ass. Well, technically it was Rory who kicked me in the ass once she found out.

Every Alpha instinct I had was on the back burner, and I happily accepted Rory's claws, kicks, punches and every curse word she threw my way in the middle of the pack house. I deserved them. I had let my anger and fear drive me, and because of that my mate was hurt and alone. My wolf was howling for me to find her and drag her away from the danger of Howard finding her, but I wasn't so sure that she was anymore safe around me.

Mates are considered sacred to wolves, and a pack is very aware of how an Alpha treats his mate. A true Alpha would never dream of hurting his mate, and that's exactly what I'd done. And the whole pack knew it. I wasn't going to hide it. I let my anger and selfish instincts control me, and it wasn't the first time. I ruled through fear and let others cower away from my strength, but that usually led to respect. Now, I know that I've lost the respect of my pack. I may still technically be Alpha, but it'll never be the same.

The burning in my chest hasn't lessened, despite my attempts to ignore it and focus on the conversation. We've spent the past week trying to track down where Howard is hiding out. I have a few of my wolves scouting areas nearby. I don't think he would go all the way back to Vermont where his pack was disbanded, because the Council knows to look for him there. He wouldn't stray too far from Finley, which means he's close by.

"Has the second group found anything north of here?" I asked Nolan, absentmindedly rubbing at the pain in my chest. A hopeful part of my brain thought this might be Finley trying to reach out to me. Maybe she was close by, and this was the bond's way of telling me?

"They've found a scent trail, but they aren't positive it's Finley or Howard. It's definitely wolves, but the scents are too faded to be sure." Nolan recounts, twisting his face up as he reads a message from his phone. Rory makes a noise at the mention of Finley, and I can't tell if it's anger or sadness she's feeling. The glare she sends my way tells me it's probably the former.

"Tell them to follow it as far as they can - it can't be a coincidence. No one else would be this close to-" My sentence was cut off abruptly when the ache in my chest exploded. My vision turned white, and the intensity of it knocked all the air out of my lungs. I clutched my hands to my chest and scratched at my shirt, my claws ripping the fabric and sinking into my skin.

"Cillian? What's wrong?"

"Oh my goddess, what's happening?"

I heard Rory and Nolan and some of the other wolves who had been in the office with us shouting, but I couldn't respond. It was all I could do to stay conscious as the fire in my chest expanded across my body. I was choking on nothing, and writhing in an attempt to stop the phantom pain.

Suddenly, as quickly as the pain appeared, it was gone. My limbs ached from where I'd hit them on the furniture or on the ground, and every muscle in my body was burning from use, but the fire was gone. The white faded away from my vision until I could see again, and I realized I was on the ground. I had ended up on the carpet next to my desk, laying flat on my back with Nolan and Rory hovering above me.