Finn

Chapter Thirty-Four

When I decided to escape, yet again, into the forest, I wildly misjudged just how cold Massachusetts was in the winter. I thought it had been cold when I was in the forest a few months before, but that was nothing compared to sleeping on snow.

Despite it being the middle of the night when I left, I didn't stop running until my body literally collapsed from exhaustion several hours later. I was terrified that Cillian would jump out at any moment after following my scent. I wanted to put as much distance as I could between us, so I picked a direction and kept running.

Turin's letter played on repeat in my head as I ran. I remembered him mentioning a hidden waterfall to the north of the pack grounds, and that he might go visit the scenic place. Despite the fact that it was a hidden waterfall, and I had absolutely nothing to go off of, I decided to head there. I knew enough to find true north, so I ran in that direction.

I didn't have anyone else I could go to, and figured my chances of finding him were about the same as finding a town or someone else willing to help me. A town full of humans would probably think I was insane, anyway.

When I saw the sun starting to peak up in the sky, I knew I had been running for hours. I was well off of pack grounds by now, and the fact that none of them had found me yet was a pretty good sign that they didn't follow me. My whole body was numb from cold, and I was pretty sure that was the only way I had made it so far.

Eventually, even the adrenaline and fear couldn't push me any further. I collapsed next to an old, fallen tree with a hollowed out trunk. I shoved out any snow that had gotten inside and crawled into the opening at the end. I wrapped the blanket I'd brought over me, though it offered little protection from the harsh winds.

I only slept a couple of hours before I started to move again. I woke up every couple of minutes to a noise or a movement that sent my heart racing. But despite my tired brain, my muscles had gotten enough rest to keep going. I slowed my pace now that I was out of pack grounds, but I didn't waste any time. The running helped keep me warmer, and it made me feel like I was getting closer to Turin, even though I knew I probably wasn't.

My body gave out a couple more times after that, and I would repeat the same process. I'd stop to rest for a few hours, and then be on the move again. I stopped once when I found a small pond of freshwater that hadn't completely frozen over yet.

After a couple of naps, I began to lose track of time. My numb muscles were starting to feel the effects of running, and every movement began to hurt. My face had been burning from the wind, but as I adjusted I started to feel the painful bruising and irritation from Cillian's scratch marks.

The worst was my neck, where Cillian's mark sat angrily on my skin. I couldn't see it very well, but I could tell it was red and irritated. Every now and then the same burning fire that had taken over my body when he marked me would come, and I'd collapse on the ground. But it would disappear as quickly as it appeared, and the burning would go back to being isolated at my neck.

I was convinced I was going crazy. I was sleep deprived, starving, and wandering aimlessly through a forest. No sane person would willingly do that, and yet I found myself doing it for the second time.

It could have been two days or ten days when I finally found something promising. I had been searching for any water source that might connect to a waterfall, and found nothing. I had enough energy and awareness to keep moving north, but that was the extent of it. I wasn't even sure how I'd lasted that long, but I knew I was on borrowed time.

So when I finally heard the quiet sound of moving water, I moved towards the sound without question. I ran wildly, running into sticks and tripping over piles of snow as I did. I nearly fell on my face several times, but I somehow managed to stay upright until I reached the small river. It was by no means a waterfall, but it was big enough to have a current and not be frozen. If I followed it to its source I was sure I could find something.

I hoped that something was a waterfall with Turin sitting underneath it, but I would be satisfied with some fish, civilization, or anything resembling dry ground.

I hurried along the bed of the river in the direction against the current with a new found pep in my step. I made sure we were still going generally north, and continued my wild sprint through the woods. The lack of trees directly around the river made it a little easier to run, and it also gave the sun a better view of the forest floor. The snow was lighter there, and it felt good to feel the warmth of the rays as I jogged along.

My muscles shook underneath me, begging for a break, but I pushed on. It might have been in my head, but I felt like I was so close. I just need to keep going a little further, and then I could take a break. And after saying that to myself several times, a little further turned into a lot further. The sun began to set again, and the chill of night started to sink into my bones.

I was about ready to stop for the night when I saw movement in my peripheral. I whipped my head around, searching for the source. It was already pretty dark and hard to see deeper into the trees, so I didn't find anything. If it hadn't been for the shuffling noises that followed, or the twig that snapped to my side, I might have thought I made up the movement I saw. But I knew something was there, I just couldn't see them.

My voice got stuck in my throat as I went to call out to the intruder. It could have been a wild, human eating animal, a harmless rabbit, or a murderous werewolf Howard sent after me. Whichever it was, I was defenseless, and desperately hoping it was only a rabbit.

A quiet whimper left my dry throat as a large creature appeared out of the darkness to my left. I was frozen in place, but when I recognized that it was a werewolf I stumbled backwards and into a tree trunk behind me. I frantically searched around me, expecting there to be several with them, but saw only the one.

He had a sandy blonde coat of fur, with dark streaks running through it. He stalked towards me slowly, his figure easily as tall as me even on all fours. I expected him to growl or snarl or snap at me, but he was eerily silent. I held my breath and squeezed my eyes shut as I waited for him to make a move.

If he was a rogue, he'd kill me on the spot. If he was with Howard or Cillian, he'd take me away to the very people I was running from. I found myself hoping he was a rogue, and that he would make it quick.

A surprised gasp escaped my mouth when I felt the wolf's tongue swipe over my face. I felt his warm breath on my face, and it smelled terrible. My eyes shot open at the action, and I saw the wolf standing only inches from me. He was watching me with huge eyes, waiting for me to do something. I was dumbfounded by the wolf's behavior, and searched its face for some sign as to what I should do.

It was then that I noticed the striking blue of the wolf's eyes. They were so familiar, and yet I couldn't believe it was actually him.

"Turin?" I breathed out, my voice barely audibly as I reached a hand towards the wolf. He jumped in excitement at my voice, and moved forward to lick my face again. I pushed him away, making a face at the smell of his breath.

"Am I dreaming?" I mumbled, my eyes wide as I took in the wolf. I shook my head, looking away as I refused to believe it. There was no world where I stumbled upon Turin in the forest. This was my head playing tricks on me. I was finally losing it.

The Turin of my imagination whined when I moved away from him. I shook my head again, but quickly held my hands to it when I started to feel dizzy. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to push down the vomit rising in my throat.

"You're not real." I muttered to the fake Turin before falling onto my knees. I dry heaved into the snow, my stomach too empty to have anything to throw up. I heard ringing in my ears as my head pounded, and my heart was beating out of my chest. My body crumpled onto the snow, too exhausted to have the energy to hold me up.

Every inch of my body was in pain, and I was ready for it to stop. I'd faced death before and been ready and willing. I was okay with it now, I just wanted it to end quickly.

I felt my consciousness start to slip as the edges of my vision turned black. I let the darkness cover me, and watched the forest disappear from view. Just before I faded away, I heard the fake Turin wolf whining and howling.