Light Under The Glooms (MPS#2)

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

I'm sure I'm not the only person who regrets something. Big or small reason, regret is regret. And that regret became a reminder to think more carefully and make a decision for us not to make the same mistake once again.

And in my case, it always haunting me.

If I didn't push my mom to join the contest, I'm sure she'll still be with us. She'll be alive if only I listened to my little brother.

Masaya sana kami.

"Do you have some regrets?" I asked Jinoh, who was sitting beside me. We were having a moment watching the sea and drinking a cup of iced coffee. "Gusto ko lang malaman," dagdag ko.

"Wala pa naman akong pinagsisisihan ngayon," he answered with a smile. "Kung sa past naman... I can't recall, I'm sorry."

"Okay lang," sabi ko.

He smiled at me weakly, then sighed like he had a bad day. Humigpit pa ang hawak niya sa cup ng kape habang nasa malayo na ang tingin.

"Jinoh," I called him.

He looked at me, raising his eyebrows.

"Do you mind sharing your thoughts with me?" I smiled at him.

Again, he sighed.

He is surely hesitating to share it with me, just like me having a hard time sharing my problem with others, especially with him, because I don't want to be a burden to them... to him.
 
However, he nodded at me with a smile, agreeing to share his thoughts with me.
 
"Tungkol lang naman 'to sa tanong mo kung may pinagsisihan na ba ako," he began. "Nung umuwi kasi kami sa province para magbakasyon, kinailangan din nila Mom at Dad na bumalik agad sa Manila dahil may need silang asikasuhin..."

I saw how his eyes turned into glassy. Parang kinurot ang puso ko nang makita ang lungkot sa mga mata niya.

"Nagsisisi ako na nagpa-iwan ako sa kanila sa province..." puno ng lungkot ang boses na sabi niya. "Akala ko magiging masaya ako kasi bakasyon 'yon, Elein... dapat memorable, pero tangina... nagkamali ako."

Nakagat ko ang laman ng pisngi, at tila hindi makahinga dahil sa narinig.

He chuckled. "Well naging memorable nga naman, pero in a bad way."

"Jinoh..." Inabot ko ang kamay niya at nang mahawak ito ay sobrang lamig ng palad niya.

A lone tear fell into his left eye.

"I don't want to go back to that place where I only felt heaviness, Elein." He smile painfully. "Ayoko na... dahil pakiramdam ko walang maniniwala ulit sa akin."

I immediately hugged him. My heart was heavy, and I felt like it was tearing up into pieces. Gumanti rin siya nang yakap at tila nakahinga siya nang maluwag.

"Naniniwala ako sa'yo, hmm?" I cupped his face after a hug. "If no one believes you, I am here. I'm here, you may run to my arms whenever you feel gloomy. You can lean on me, okay?"
 
He nodded like a kid, a smile slowly forming on his lips. His eyes were full now of joy, and I feel like I'm watching a fireworks show in his eyes.

He cupped my cheeks, too.

"My Elein, too," he said. "When your heart feels heavy and everything appears gloomy, remember that you don't need to endure it alone, because I'm here. You can share the weight with me, and I am willingly carrying it."

My heart warmed. Napangiti ako bago tumango sa kaniya. He smiled at me, too; we were literally giggling at each other. His smile disappeared, and his face slowly neared my face, and before I even dare to close my eyes, his lips already touched my forehead.