Forever Yours, My Love

Losing my damn mind

Chloe's POV (Two months later)

I think I'm going crazy.

I think I am going crazy.

I see things.

I hear things.

I'm forgetting things that I should know.

And I don't like it.

Sometimes I'm not myself. And that scares me.

Sometimes I wake up, and I wish I didn't. I wake up with my clothes covered in blood. Only to find out, it's not my blood.

They've successfully turned me into their killing machine. And as much as I should care. I don't. My mind is hazy most of the time. I'm not me. I'm not me.

I'm losing my damn mind.

I see things.

And I'm seeing things.

Oh wait, I already said that.

Who cares.

But I see them.

Everywhere.

I see Clint sometimes when I turn around the corner. Only for him to disappear.

I hear Bucky calling out for me. I turn around. And he's not there.

I hear the sound of Peter's chuckle.

I see Natasha whenever I train with the guards. Only for her to disappear when I hit the mat, after being punched in the face.

I see them all. I hear them all. Only for them to disappear. I'm losing my damn mind. I swear. I'm losing it. I'm losing. I'm losing it. 

I'm a monster. A killing machine.

I am the Silver Soldier.

They got what they wanted.

I am a weapon.

I wasn't as strong as I thought.

'Welcome to the
Welcome to the
Welcome to the
Welcome to the)'

I rocked back and forth. I wrapped my arms around my head. Stop it. Stop it. I said stop it! I don't like this. I don't like this! My mind is torturing me. I'm seeing them everywhere.

"Baby girl look at this one! Look over it for me so I know I didn't miss something, know you, you can point out anything I did miss", I clenched my eyes closed at his voice. His voice. His damn voice is in my head. I'm hearing him again. And I just want to stop. I just want it to stop! He's been dead for three months. Three damn months. And he won't leave me alone. He won't leave me alone! He's not really here! He's not really here! He's dead! Tony is dead damn it! Stop playing with me! Stop mocking me! Stop it!

"Sweetheart? It's okay, your okay. I'm right here, look at me sweetheart, I'm right here. I'm here to get you out of here", I heard Steve's voice. He really sounded like he was here. But he wasn't. He couldn't be. He can't be. "Doll, come on. Look at me. Let me see those beauties, I swear. I'm right here, come on beautiful. Look at me", I heard his voice again. And I was so stupid to look up. But I gasped when I saw him. My eyes filled with tears. My hands began to shake. My heart began to pound against my chest.