Forever Yours, My Love

Let It Happen

(Let's focus on the slow parts of the song) (Also a lot of warnings! Be warned! Bleeding out, dying, a lot is going on. So if this makes you uncomfortable, please don't read).

Chloe's POV

I could feel the blood dripping down my arm and down my hand, I didn't bother to try and lift it to stop the bleeding, I mean, why would I? I wanted this to happen, and it seems like no one cares anyways, if they did, they would have been here already, calling me a dumbass and helping me not die. So...........yeah.

'Feels like we're on the edge right now
I wish that I could say I'm proud
I'm sorry that I let you down
I let you down'

If you think I'm being dramatic about all of this, well, honestly I've felt like this for a long time, even before the trial, I always had that dark feeling inside of me, and it never went away. I never talked about it with the others, because we already had so much on our plates, and honestly I was scared of what they would say. I mean, what would you say if your werewolf/witch mate was suicidal? Even I don't know what they would have said. But now look at me, I'm a mess, I hurt my soulmate, which I thought I would never do. I almost killed him, even with the super healing, my claws dug too deep for his healing to automatically heal him. Who knows if I could have killed him, and I don't know what I would do or feel. My other soulmates hardly look at me, and the ones that do, they're off on missions all the time, and Loki and Thor are in Asgard. So yeah, I'm suicidal, I know, it's a hard pill to swallow. But I'm not scared to die like I once was, I don't even know why I came back, why hadn't I just stayed in heaven with everyone else? It was better, I had family there, that were like me, they weren't scared of me, they accepted me for who I was. Down here, not so much. So who knows, maybe my healing won't heal me, maybe I will die due to the face that I nicked a vein, I was only half werewolf, I didn't have super healing like my dad.

'All these voices in my head get loud
I wish that I could shut them out
I'm sorry that I let you down
Let you down'

I whined softly, my own father, my mother, my brother and sister. They were scared of what I was, what I've become, despite being the same as I was. Was, was it because of what I've done? What HYDRA turned me into? They couldn't look past all the deaths and the blood that I had on my hands. That they couldn't look at me? I just wanted someone that wouldn't be afraid of me, but that's not possible. Because if Peter does live, then I know he'll be afraid of me to, I clenched my eyes closed tightly, a tear rolled down my cheek. I never wanted them to fear me, but that's all they've done, Is fear me, because of what I've done. That one thing with Pietro, all the times I've wolfed out, and now this. I loved them, I loved them so much, with all my heart and soul, and I'm pretty sure there was a time where they loved me, but maybe that time is gone now. I don't get it, why did fate give them to me, if they were just going to fear me the whole time? What did I do wrong?

I don't know anymore.

But maybe this will be better.

After I'm gone.

'Yeah, I guess I'm a disappointment
Doing everything I can
I don't wanna make you disappointed
It's annoying
I just wanna make you feel like everything I ever did
Was never tryna make an issue for you
But I guess the more you thought about everything
You were never even wrong in the first place, right?'

I looked down at the streaming blood drops that dripped down my mangled arm, I could barely lift it, and I felt so weak, just told me it was working, and who knows when someone will find me. And maybe just to spite me, they'll throw me back into the same place I came out of, I mean, why spend money on another funeral for the same person? I mean, I wouldn't be mad about it either. Or maybe, I'll be HYDRA's little experiment again, maybe they'll dig me up after they throw me back into the ground. I wouldn't put it past them. I rolled my head back, and rested it against the wall, I was numb and cold at the same time, if that made any sense, but I knew that couldn't be a good thing. But it didn't really matter now, right? Right. No one was going to come save me this time. I already fucked up my life as it is, no need to ruin theirs. But I will miss them, no matter how much they fear me, and distance themselves from me. I will always love them, but I guess it wasn't the same on the other side anymore. And I guess that's fine, I mean, my family can't stand to look at me, fear me because of what I've done, and my soulmates fear me, because of what I am. And I don't blame them, I'd be scared of what I was too. Sometimes I wish there was a way to take the wolf away, to just make me human.

'Yeah, I'ma just ignore you, walking towards you
With my head down, lookin' at the ground, I'm embarrassed for you
Paranoia, what did I do wrong this time? That's parents for you
Very loyal? Shoulda had my back but you put a knife in it
My hands are full, what else should I carry for you?
I cared for you, but'

"Chloe, please, please let me take over. We need to get help, your bleeding and it doesn't look like it's going to stop anytime soon, please, let me get us help", I could hear silver begging and pleading with me, oh yeah, the one thing I would regret, I wish I could separate us, so she wouldn't have to go with me, but with the collar around my neck, takes away my magic. So, I guess we'll be both going into the dirt, as much as I didn't want that for her, what else could I do? Who even knows if they would care if I call for help? Would they? Or would they just stare at me, like some animal that's about to be put down, or would they have fear in their eyes. I honestly didn't know anymore. I licked my dry lips, wow, I didn't even notice how dry they were. "It doesn't matter anymore silver, just let it happen, I'm sorry I have to take you down with me", I hated that I would be taking her down with me, she didn't deserve that, she deserved to have a happy life that wasn't in a HYDRA lab, but me being a dumbass again, I didn't think, like always. And now my selfish ass is taking her down with me. I wouldn't be surprised if she did hate me too. "I don't hate you Chloe, I could never hate you. If this is what you want, then I'll be glad to go with you", she sounded like she was about to cry, as weird as it sounds, seeing as I heard it in my head. But it also brought tears to my eyes too, she really was my friend, the only one that didn't hate me, didn't fear me, seeing as we shared a body. But she didn't think I was a monster, she didn't think I was an animal. And for once, that seemed refreshing. At least, technically, I wouldn't be dying alone, right? Right. I smiled weakly to myself and just let myself sit there.

'Feels like we're on the edge right now
I wish that I could say I'm proud
I'm sorry that I let you down
Let you down'

I could tell I was fading, the room was becoming hazy and dizzy like, there was spots in my vision. My arm felt numb, but I could still smell the fresh blood that was running down my arm. I guess this was it, I didn't really plan any goodbyes, but I honestly didn't want to, it's not like they would come just so I could say goodbye to them. And half of them were gone on a mission, haven't seen them, in who knows how long, seeing as there's no fucking clock in here! It could be days or weeks that I've spent in here, and not once, have them visited me. I sighed softly to myself, it was soft breath of air leaving my lips, I could hear my own heart slowing down in my chest. I huffed weakly, second times it's done that, I guess this would be the second time I've died. Fucking sucks. But I wanted this.

I wanted this.

"Life. So overrated",

'All these voices in my head get loud
I wish that I could shut them out
I'm sorry that I let you down
Let you down'

(I know, it seems like a lot. I am fine, but she definitely isn't. I know it's a lot different then the original story, but I wanted to make it interesting, full of pain, fear, love, sadness, and all that jazz. And don't worry, I'll let you on a little spoiler, she doesn't die).