Let's Meet Again, For the First Time (Eren x OC)

30

"Want me to stay with you tonight?", he asked as he parked in front of my building. My eyes averted to the black floor of the car, "I think I'm gonna be okay", I said with half confidence.

"You call me Spencer Bradley", he said, trying to get me to crack a smile.

And it worked, "Middle of the night", I closed his car door and made my way up the stairs.

I dropped my keys on the counter and let out a light sigh.

I liked coming home to an empty house. I enjoyed the silence, and the calmness the darkness brought to me. I felt safe, like I could breathe. Knowing I was the only one here, it made me feel still.

I was an introvert at heart. But the people I trusted, I enjoyed being around. But sometimes I just want oblivion for a day.

No texts, no calls, no words. Just me and my thoughts. Time where I can think about the things I don't want to. Where I can try and understand the maze that my mind was.

Us humans are made for socializing, from birth to death we're told to socialize, it'll make us feel less lonely.

But what if you're only lonely when you're surrounded by people?

What if the loneliness only takes you when you're not lonely? When you're with friends, or your person. What then? How do you fix that?

Thing about loneliness is that it's always within us. We suppress it with parties, dates, and outings with friends. But when we get home, and the house is quiet and dark. That's where the loneliness feeds on us.

Like a parasite eating away at your skin until all that's left is the bone.

But does it have to be a bad thing...loneliness?
Why don't we romanticize it? We romanticize love, which hurts. We romanticize drugs and alcohol, which kills us. We romanticize living on the edge, taking risks, which leads to consequences.

But why not loneliness? Why is it something that always feels bad? Something that we run from?
It doesn't harm us...right?

It's just a feeling, like love. It consumes you in the same way.

So why do we run from it? Cause it feels sad? Is that it?

I like being alone. I enjoy the silence, I bask in the idea that there are no eyes on me. A place where I can be raw and unbothered. Where I can blast my music as high as I wanted to, and put the same song on repeat without any trouble.

I say, find that person. You're soulmate, your best friend, you're human. Whoever they might be.

And be lonely with them.

I tried my best not to think about the interview I had seen earlier. It upset me, I will admit that much. She lied, but she also told the truth...well some of it.

I didn't like the attention. I didn't like photos of me on the TV screen, plastered all over every social media site. It made me anxious knowing there were all these eyes watching me, all these voices talking about me.

But I think what scared me the most. Was seeing those photos.

The car I had for so long was destroyed, taking me along with it. Evidence of my blood stained the streets forever. Red streaks of violence and pain turned the once white car a deep shade of torment.

I almost died. Maybe I did die. Maybe I was a star for just a second before they threw me out of the sky. Who knows?

But what I did know is that I had a second chance, and I wasn't going to waste it.

I tapped on his contact and called him, I brought my phone to my ear as I waited to hear his voice.

"Spencer Bradley, it's 11:55, you're way too early", I smiled from his comment, "You're right, a whole 5 minutes, I deeply apologize for the inconvenience".