ｆｅｅｌ ａｇａｉｎ

0 0 8

**Grayson, Wednesday**

"You're up early for someone who doesn't have school." Dad says when I run into him in the kitchen for Coffee.

I look at the time on the oven, seeing that it's 5:33am.

"I never slept." I mutter back, and he frowns a little. I grab my coffee mug from the cabinet, and put it under the Kuerig.

"You're having sleep issues, again?" He asks me worriedly.

They never went away.

"No." I lie, letting the coffee brew and grabbing the cream from the fridge while I wait.

"Grayson, seriosuly. If you are, we can get-"

"I don't want anymore Medications, Dad. I don't even take the ones I have now. Getting more, is pointless." I cut him off, already knowing where he's going with this.

"Well, you need to sleep, Grayson. And if that means taking something to help you, then maybe that's what we need to do."

"I sleep fine. This isn't an every night thing."

"I wasn't gonna bring it up," He sighs, and I look over at him. "But, I've heard you getting out of bed and going downstairs, every night. Out back, I'm assuming?"

Damn

"Grayson, you need to sleep. I know it's hard to shut your mind down, but you need it. It can really mess you up if you're not getting sleep."

"I know." I mutter back. "I'll try, alright." I agree quietly, and he gives me a somewhat sad smile.

"I'm sorry." He sighs quietly, and I look over at him. "I know this was your Moms thing, and I know I can't help you like she could. But I-"

"Shut up, Dad." I cut him off. "You don't have to help me like she did, it's not your thing and that's fine. YOu help me in your own, weird ways. Like our early morning coffee conversations. Or our late night Tea conversations. That's our thing. Her thing and your thing are different, and that's fine." I tell him.

I know he always gets self-concious about the fact that he doesn't know how to help me as well as Mom did. Which is my doing, because I leaned toward my Mom more while Cam leaned toward him more, so he wasn't as in tune with my...issues as she was, I guess.

"You have a way with words, just like her." He smiles, setting down his coffee and walking up to you. "One hug?" He asks, and I sigh.

"One hug." I reply, and he wraps his arms around me tightly, resting his chin on top of my head.

I internally count down from ten, and I know he does too because right when I reach zero, he backs off.

"I have to get ready." He tells me. "I'll see you later, alright?"

"Alright." I agree, turning back to my coffee. He leaves the kitchen, and I finish making my coffee, going out back to the yard and sitting on heading down to the dock.

There's a slight chill in the air this morning, and it's definitely gonna rain today, without a doubt. The sun has barely risen, yet the sky is already full of dark rain clouds.

The best kind of weather, in my opinion.

I sit at the edge of the dock, sipping my coffee aas i stare out at the calm, quiet lake.

I didn't do much yesterday, jsut hung out home by myself. Even though Jae was very keen on staying with me, his parents forced him to go to school. He swore he'd come over today, but I'm not holding him accountable to that.