White Lies and Smiles

29

"Zelena, I think I saw Qamari..." I told her over the phone. I leaned against my car.

[You must be imagining things, Ethan! Look, I know you haven't moved on but please don't go there. I'm not a psychiatrist nor a psychologist, so please-] When I looked straight, I saw Atty. Rivas. He was with a girl. He kissed the girl's forehead. [Oh my, I have to go!]

"She's really here, Zelena-" The line ended. Atty. Rivas started walking away. My lips parted when I saw Qamari.

I put my phone down. She was about to open her car's door but I immediately held her wrist. Fuck, bakit ko 'yon ginawa?!

"Qamari... H-how are you?" What the hell?!

"I'm fine, Ethan. I need to go."

"Can we t-talk?" I let go of her wrist. She looked at me and nodded. "I just want to ask if I can visit o-our... your child?"

Because for years, I was stopping myself from doing so. I wanted to respect Qamari. I wanted to let her know that I accept her feelings and reasons. I understand her.

"You can visit my child, Ethan. I won't stop you. Is there anything else that you want to ask or say?"

"I know you're tired of hearing this but I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, Qamari." I looked at Atty. Rivas' car. "You can go now... You have a date with Atty. Rivas.."

"I'll go first."

"Safe driving," I uttered.

I watched her car... The most heartbreaking moment for me is when she leaves. I put my hands inside my pockets and smiled bitterly. I'm sure that she's the one for me. But maybe I'm not the one for her. She doesn't deserve me. She deserves someone who will make her cry but only because of joy. She deserves someone who will think the way she thinks.

I sipped on my glass when I saw her kissing with Atty. Rivas. They really are together. They were kissing passionately and that makes me angry! Fuck, I don't have the right to be!

And that wasn't the last time I saw them kissing. But today, I had the chance to touch what was once my life. I pulled Qamari when nurses and a patient entered the elevator. My eyes widened when I felt her hand on mine. I had to stay focused! I looked at Atty. Rivas and nodded at whatever he was saying.

"Good afternoon po," the nurses greeted me.

Qamari glanced at me and her eyes widened. I smiled a bit when I felt her eyes on me. I removed my hand away from her and put it inside the pocket of my pants. I stared back at her. She looked like she was ready for a fight.

"Ano?" she mouthed.

I slightly shook my head. I played with my lower lip to hide a smile. Damn, this woman has still an effect on me.

"Ang dami mong sinabi but you just want his money, right?" I looked at Qamari when she said that. Woah, she's right.

"Bakit nandito 'yan?" Diana asked. "Personal na bagay ang pinag-uusapan natin dito, bakit may sumisingit? Attorney, baka puwede mong pagsabihan 'yang girlfriend mo-"

"Excuse me? I'm not here to make singit. I'm just here to see you. I forgot to bring a basket of fruits, I'll just do it next time. Kumusta ka, Diana? Alin ang masakit?" I almost laughed. That's my woman.