bella's pov
who they fuck do these guys think they are? i can assure you they aren't fucking god.
i stormed my way outside and pulled out my phone. i grabbed my earbuds from my pockets and started playing music.
i didn't bother to look up when i walked and suddenly heard a car honking as it rushed towards me.
i froze and prepared for the impact when suddenly i felt a pair of hands grab me and pull me back.
i looked up and saw calum standing there looking out of breath.
"what the hell was that? are you okay?" calum asked as he stared at me.
"i-i'm fine. thank you. i didn't even hear the car coming at first." i replied while i pulled my sleeves over my hands.
calum noticed and took my hand and dragged me inside.
we walked into his office where ashton was standing by the desk.
i looked at him and slowly put two and two together. they were going to fucking give me a psych eval.
"you've got to be kidding me. i'm not crazy." i spoke as i began to walk away.
"no one said you were now sit. we got your mom's consent." ashton spoke calmly as he sat down on a chair.
i sighed and plopped down across from him while calum sat next to me.
"i know you're not crazy bella. i just need the truth. are you self harming?" ashton asked carefully.
"that's really none of your business." i spoke coldly.
"bella please." calum spoke.
"why the hell do you care so much?" i asked.
"i had a sister. her name was mali. she struggled with self harm. my family noticed and immediately tried to get her help. on her way back from a session she ended up committing suicide in her car. that's why i care, you're so young bella. you don't need to be controlled by self harm." calum spoke hesitantly.
i stared at him with a look of sympathy.
"i'm sorry that happened to you, but i'm not your sister calum. i'm fine. i really am." i spoke softly.
"then roll up your sleeves and prove it." calum spoke while looking at me.
i stared at him and then ashton and then looked at my sleeves. "i can't." i mumbled.
"all we want to do is help bella. no one is attacking you." ashton spoke.
i nodded slowly, "i'll roll up my sleeves as long as you guys look away while i do it please. it just makes me more comfortable." i replied.
ashton nodded and walked out of the room with calum.
i can't believe i was doing this. self harm defined me. it was a part of me. since i was 12 and i'm now 16. it's defined who i was and i don't know if i'm ready to let go of that.
i rolled up my left sleeve and took the gauze off. i saw the deep cuts slowly reveal themselves. those ones hurt like fuckers.
i rolled my sleeve back down and walked to the door.
ashton and calum saw me and walked back in.
as soon as we sat back down i spoke, "i've been doing this for 4 years. i don't want help. i don't want to stop. i'm showing this to you just so that we never have to talk about this again."
i rolled up my left sleeve slowly before either of them could reply.
i saw ashton suck in a deep breath and slowly look away.
"let me see." calum mumbled as he grabbed my hand lightly.
after a couple seconds he spoke back up, "these are really serious bella." he exhaled.
"i'm fine. now that this is done can we never talk about this again?" i asked as i pulled my sleeve down wincing in pain.
"nope. let calum help you wrap them up and then we'll discuss how to stop." ashton replied.
